share a scary story and advice
Aug 1, 2004
Dear Doctor Bob, I wanted to share my story with you to somehow help others that are suffering the fatal disease of stressing yourself into symptoms or syis. 4 months ago i was diagnosed with a skin cancer on my head. as i currently live in vietnam for work, the doctor suggested i get the cancer removed by a plastic surgeon in Bangkok. I agreed half hearteadly as i am not the most responsible person in Bangkok,having worked there previously and knowing my bad record with hiring ladies to keep me company from all the wrong places. Anyway I left for bangkok for the surgery and my wife was very upset knowing my past experiences there.(as i have been totally honest with her about my previous experiences). i checked into the hospital and surgery was successful in removing the tumor and showed no signs of spreading elswhere(they took about a 3 inch diametre piece out and stitched me up very well. i checked out of the hospital and went back to my hotel room for four days of recuperation. As i lay there for the two following days i started to get very horny but i had promised my wife i would be a good boy and stay at the hotel and rest. I got so bored I went down to the bar for a drink, in which i should not have done as i was on anti-biotics at the time for my surgery and of course it was happy hour. Unfortunatley the happier i got the hornier i got so after 6 drinks and feeling good i decided to go to a go go bar in soi nana area. after a few more drinks and feeling quite pissed i decided to take home two young ladies to have some fun with. after getting back to the hotel i realised i had not any condoms so i was fortunate to get in room dining to bring some condoms as well as some food.great service from a great hotel!!!
Of course i was very drunk and cannot remember too much after that but i awoke the next day with the two girls and myself sharing the bed. I was laying there when one of the girls started stroking my penis and getting me hard. As she did that i was fondling the other girl witha little tickle here and there. As i was concentrating on one of the girls the other straddled me and was copulating with me in an upright position. as i was hungover i didnt think much of it until i realised i was not wearing a condom, i gently pushed her off and we went back to wanking and spanking. Anyway some time went past and the girls had to go so i just lay there feeling like crap and feeling guilty. a few days later i went back to vietnam to major questioning by my wife regarding my faithfulness.At first I denied everything and two days went by and my wife decided it would be good to give me a blowjob as she does quite regularly. At first I didnt even think about the consequences of my bad boy antics in Bangkok, but as time went on I began to feel more and more guilty as well as worried for the health of my wife as she was 8 months pregnant with our first child. I had to come clean as the thought of infecting my wife and unborn child obviously started to sink in an I told her everything that happened. She as any good wife would freaked out and made my life miserable for a few weeks until the birth of our baby daughter, when it seemed all was forgotten.
But it was not forgotten with me and I started to stress out and look up symptoms of HIV infection. And of course i started to get some of them, aching body, muscles, aching spleen, floaters in the eyes, night sweats and headaches. I got myself to the nearest doctor and had a test in which the doctor said was negative but inconclusive as i would have to wait 3 months for the results to be more or less definative. Those three months would have to be the worst I have ever encountered, I swear I was convincing myself that I had contracted the disease and I was going to die. Worst of all i was totally convinced that i had infected my wife and inturn she would infect our newborn child. To me that was the worst feeling that anyone could ever have, I was at the point where I was contemplating suicide every time the baby and my wife was hot, had a rash, loose stools etc. Believe me seeing that in front of you and not being able to do anythng about it with a sense of guilt that you may have infected your wife and daughter through selfish uncaring behaviour was just too much for me to handle. I had thoughts of how I would eventually commit suicide how I envisaged a lonely death in some rented apartment where no one knew me and did'nt really care if I was dead or alive. I had all the thoughts that a normal functioning human being would not even give the time of day to think about. But I had them and this caused an untold amount of stress to me my family my work colleagus and friends. up until today I was still thinking about how I was not going to make it and it would be the most tragic thing that ever could happen to two innocent human beings.
At this stage i didnt really care about myself I just wanted to make sure my wife and child were safe. So today came around 12 weeks since my risky exposure and I went to the doctors for my blood test. I asked specifically when I could get the results, he said he would get the pathologist to have them ready in an hour and I was to call him in an hour or so to get the answer. At first I thought this was strange that he would deliver the news over the phone but he seemed to obviously think i was not in any danger. I went home and then the stress went to a new level, my legs were like jelly, I seemed to be in a daze and the clock would not move fast enough. After an hour and a half I called the doctors and got the receptionist, I asked her to connect me with the doctor and she said he was busy and I could leave my number and he would call me back. 2 hours went by and he had not called, and by this time I was thinking the absolute worst that the results were positive and he was having trouble to tell me over the phone. so I called the doctors again and apparently he was out to lunch so I left another message, again the receptionist said he would call me. another hour went past and my heart jumped through the roof when the phone rang. Hi there this is the doctor i believe you called and hour ago. I said yes and I also called almost 3 hours ago the first time, he casually told me the receptionist forgot to give him the message and he only got it 5 minutes ago.
forkenhell i was stressed to the ultimate with my heart pounding at about 200 beats a minute and sweat dripping down my brow. he then gave me the news that my results were negative. I almost choked with disbelief as I had absolutley convinced myself that it was all over and my life was never going to be the same again. I guess after all the bla bla the morale of the story is you never really know, even though you may have all the symptoms or some of them, you never know until you get tested at the right time. the human being is so good at convincing themselves of the worst. yet we are not doctors or professionals and after all the stress and pain I have put myself and my family through the worst never eventuated.
Lastly doctor Bob I just wanted to let you know that through all of this I read and learnt an incredible amount of information about HIV and the scourge it is having on the worlds population, how we can never know for sure until we get tested. Your forum kept me at a level of sanity that without it I would never of got through the last 3 months of normal functioning as a human being. A big thankyou to you and all the people that have helped me get through this mess, you have made me smile you have made me cry, but most of all you have given me hope when all hope was lost a big wooooooooohhhooooooooo to all of you wonderful people.
God bless you doctor Bob for the tirless effort you put in to help freked out people like me on a daily basis.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Uncle Ho,
I'll gladly post your story in hopes of preventing others from "SYIS!" WOO-HOO! And congratulations on your new baby, too!
Stay safe; stay well. I think you have definitely learned your lesson well this time.
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