Donated Again--3rd request
Jul 25, 2004
Dr Bob, I am going nuts...waiting for three months....on 6/6/ I had my first relationship, getting oral from someone who claims was hiv neg...At the height of the moment I touched his penis, feeling a long trail of precum, I wifed it off several times with my hand..I then licked the top of the shaft and when I went to the bottom, I tasted precum under the penis..I immediately stopped, he finished and I rinsed about ten minutes later. My part of the licking took maybe 1-3 seconds...I do have receeding gums that bleed sometimes early in the day after brushing..The event took place 5:00 PMish...Then on 6/28 I started with a nasal congestion, achy arms, like a cold was coming on, with a slight throat congestion, it did not hurt, but I had to keep clearing it, I could tast slight phlem...It took about two weeks to go away..Then my wife who I have been having relations with since the initial event(not thinking about precum, until someone mentioned it to me) she started to get sick on 7/12, a bad cold, no fever, with a cough that seems to be going towards her chest, she is a smoker, and says she feels better today...I also noticed on her chest right about where her gold chains reach, there is a rosy patch of skin, not elevated or anything just rosy...Now I just started to feel sick again, achy arms, throat etc. I feel like I am about to leave two small boys orphaned because of my dumb mistake...what is your thought on our symptoms and my risk factor..thanks really worried..
Response from Dr. Frascino
You "wifed it off several times . . . ." Hmmm. OK, if you say so.
Your HIV risk is minute. Oral sex in general carries a very low risk for HIV transmission. You had a one-three second lick of a shaft that may or may not have had pre-cum on it. That would put your risk in the essentially nonexistent category. I strongly doubt HIV is the problem. More likely, guilt surrounding this episode, or perhaps irrational fear of HIV, is the real issue that needs to be addressed.
Consider getting some counseling to help you cope with these issues. I would also suggest complete honesty with your wife. Accepting the consequences of our actions is the best way to confront the anxiety caused by them.
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