Had sex with friend, Now I find out he is HIV pos
Jul 22, 2004
What do I do? I have been friends with this guy for over 3 years, not long ago after getting drunk together we ended up in bed! we only had oral and (protected anal sex)... 3 weeks ago I found out thru a mutual friend that he was HIV pos. I have been going crazy over this, I cant sleep Im angree that he would but me as risk. I could have expected this from any "one nigh stand" I have ever had, but not from my friend!! I have been tested and will be tested again. Prior to finding out about my friends HIV status, I started dating a wonderfull guy the past 7 weeks.... we are yet to have sex. My questions are. Do I confront my "Friend" about it?? and do I tell this guy Im dating about it?
Thanx Marco Polo
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Marco Polo,
If you have oral sex and protected anal sex with other guys ("one-night stands" or enduring two-week relationships, or whatever), your HIV risk with your positoid buddy really isn't all that different, is it? Yeah, now you've heard through a mutual friend his is HIV positive. This may or may not be true. Even if it is, how many other notches on your bedpost may have been knowingly or unknowingly HIV positive?
Should you tell your new Abercrombie and Fitch hottie about them as well? That's up to you. The important thing is to decide on what level of HIV risk you are comfortable with and stick with the program. Oral sex carries an extremely low risk for HIV transmission. "Protected anal sex" should indeed be "protected" if the condom was properly used and did not fail.
So should you confront your friend? That's again up to you. Perhaps more important is that you confront why you are suddenly concerned about actions you willingly participated in. It really does take two to do the horizontal tango, right? Should you really be angry at your friend? Did you disclose to him that you were HIV negative??
In any case, your HIV risk remains exceedingly low. OK, Marco?
Stay well and best of luck with your new beau.
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