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HETERO WITH SEMI-GAY XXX-PERIENCE! WHAT?! YES! HEEEEEEEELLP!
Jul 20, 2004

Dear Doctor Bob,

you rule! Have I mentioned that? :)

Now to my question: even though I consider myself straight, a few weeks ago I ende up in a room with an old friend of mine, who I also had considered straight.

He probably is, or is trying out, I don't know, but that evening, he wanted to try it out with me.

We had already had some wine, and the next thing I remember was, that he wanted to masturbate me.

Don't ask me why, but I consented, IF he would put a condom on (on me that is, wouldn't make much sense on him). When he asked me why, I told him that I am one of your desciples! :)

So when he did, I noticed that he touched the inner part on the condom (the tip), trying to figure out which way it should be rolled on.

What then happened, happened. (Still no more than a handjob, I ain't gay! Shhhheyeah rrrrrright! Haha!)

Now: due to the certain fact that neither of us had washed their hands before - yet we had touched some peanuts, money, tables, clothes, etc. in the restaurant - could there have been any way of transmitting anything through that fact of having touched the interior tip of the condom?

And as importantly: do YOU think I'm gay?

Pleeeeeease let me have your professional advice, Master Franscino (almost spells as Franciso does) and deliver me from my misery!

Lots of hetero-love to you and Dr. Steve,

confused in R.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Confused in R,

A "semi-gay xxx-perience???" No doubt in my mind that two horny dudes spanking each other's monkeys is indeed a gay sex-perience. However, whether you are hetero or gay is still open to discussion. In case one of Ashcroft's henchmen come knocking at your door, demanding to know if you are "normal" (what they call straight) or "abnormal" (what they call gay), I would suggest you not answer or just check the "bi/curious" box for now.

Regarding any risk for HIV or other STDs from touching the interior tip of a condom, which was then unfurled onto your love missile, I can be much more definitive. No, there is no risk for HIV or other STDs. Absolutely none! No ifs, ands, or butts (so to speak)!

Ok, final question: Do I think you're gay? Hmmm I'll need a bit more information. Please answer the following two questions:

1. Do you believe Brad Pitt should get an Oscar for his nearly naked performance as Achilles in the movie, "Troy?"

2. When someone says, "Barbra," do you immediately think Bush or Streisand?

Once I have that information, and check to see if your gym membership is up to date and used at least four times per week, I should be able to give you an answer. Until then, please note: It's neither FRANSCINO nor FRANCISCO, but rather FRASCINO! And calling me "Master" does put another "X" in the gay column.

Hetero or gay, we love you just as you are. Be true to yourself, and the rest of the confusion will melt away.

Dr. Bob



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