Its not a skirt damnit
Jun 11, 2004
Dear Doc Bob,
Hello from the land where having a skirt on is not a sign of which way the saloon door swings, but a matter of national pride aka a kilt.
I have written to you a number of times with respect to my predicament but with no reply, this is not a problem as I have been through the archives and found many examples of hope and dare I say stupidity. The thing is this, not to sound vulgar but I am totally kaking myself. Talking with my Doc my risk is quite low, non injecting/rec drug taking heterosexual. Unprotected oral in a high risk country, giving and receiving, no blood visible, and no cuts in my mouth (neglected to brush my teeth before I went out dont say it, I was in a hurry).
You see thing is the worry of this situation has crystallised in my mind what is important to me, and what I want out of life. I used to think it was freeish love.
Perhaps this is the wake up call I need to change my life find a nice lass settle down and produce a bushel of kids
In short, I may not have a loose stool at the moment 3 weeks after poss exposure but metaphorically its running out of me like a bloody tap. I have read all the archives and I know I am being a Worry Well and I know that the only way to be sure is go and get tested which I am going to do have no fear about that. And when it comes back neg perhaps I can look my mother in the eye.
My mind is changeable by the hour and I am desperately trying to find symptoms or lack of symptoms. Hopefully in 9 weeks or so I can walk out the clinic and go home, place a CD in my player and play Song 2 by the British band Blur if you know the song youll understand the reference.
So how to end this, well since my Doc says I am low risk and judging by the archives on here I am low risk why am I bothering writing this. The answer is fear, a lot of us so called hard man hetro men think we are immortal gods that nothing can touch us, and hey I grew up in the UK where the Big Jock mentality just doesnt exist. Maybe it takes the worry and the potential consequences of our actions to bring us into line, to teach us to have a modicum of intelligence and at the root of it all respect for others and some self respect. Being a worry Well might not be the best experience in my life. But maybe just maybe it will give me the kick up the arse I need to stop trying to impress people with what I do and to start loving my self.
Doc Bob, you are a very inspiring man, your courage dealing with this virus and actually doing something about it is phenomenal. You should have everyones respect and admiration, you have mine.
With the utmost respect
Response from Dr. Frascino
You can read all about this in the archives, so I'll just respond briefly. A positive Western Blot does not "override" a negative ELISA, because a Western Blot should never even be performed unless there is a positive ELISA to begin with so in essence there isn't anything to over ride in the first place. Western Blots are confirmatory tests, not initial screening tests. Their sensitivity and specificity are designed to err on the side of picking up all the true positive results, i.e. folks who are HIV positive, even if that means "falsely" picking up some HIV-negative folks as well. As I recall, your Western Blot was only "indeterminate," not "positive," and it was ordered by mistake, right?
There is no doubt in my mind that the sum of your tests indicates you are definitively HIV negative.
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