the agony of the window
May 12, 2004
This site is the only thing keeping me going right now. thank you so much for your participation.
I have a few questions. heres my story...One month ago today I was involved in the single riskiest form of behavior in the book...anal receptive male/male. I never met the guy before.
I am straight, and have been with the same girl for eight years w/o cheating on her. I just wanted to know what it was like before I proposed. I have the ring. It was the worst experience I have ever had.
I have been ridden with guilt since. I'm not sure how the idea of HIV got into my head, but amidst the guilt it appeared, so I began looking online to asess my risk. I saw the symptoms but had none. this was one week ago.
the next day I had to leave work early for the first time on any job ever, because I was vomiting, dizzy, and sweating profusly. the symptoms were gone that evening. the only thing left behind is a soar throat and headache, which have been the center of my life for one week. I have small white patches in the back of my throat, which will not scrape off (thrush will). My head hurts behind by eyes, five min. on, five off. My throat seems to be acutely soar in the tonsils, or underneath. I constantly have a "foggy" feeling and am tired. all of these symptoms are marked and very noticable to me.
my questions are... could my mind be playing tricks on me and actually making me sick?
are my chances lower since I had only one sexual encounter?
since there was no ejaculate?
do these look like ars?
if he is HIV+, what are my chances for having dodged the bulet, especially considering my "symptoms"
please help, my life is currently devoted to trying to convince myself that there is still a chance that she and I are ok.
thank you so much. I will definately be donating to this foundation...weather I recieve a reply or not.
Response from Dr. Frascino
I'll answer your specific questions first:
1. Yes, your symptoms could all be due to anxiety, stress, and guilt.
2. The risk of HIV transmission per episode of unprotected receptive penile-anal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is estimated to be between 0.1% and 3.0%. Your estimated risk would be somewhat "lower," because we do not know the HIV status of your partner.
3. That there was no ejaculation would decrease the estimated risk.
4. No, your symptoms are much more consistent with anxiety than ARS.
I would strongly suggest you receive some professional counseling. You have a number of issues that need to be addressed particularly your guilt. Your symptoms are most likely directly related to guilt, depression, and anxiety. These are very treatable conditions. If your receptive anal sex was unprotected, you'll need HIV testing and possibly other STD screening. However, considering this was only a one-time occurrence and without ejaculation, the chances you "dodged the bullet" are good. Counseling should help you cope with your fears during the window period, as well as help you sort out which "symptoms" may require further evaluation. It should also help with the fatigue and "foggy" feeling, which are most likely psychologically based.
I'll be waiting for your definitive test results which, most likely, will be associated with a full-throated, ferociously vociferous WOO-HOO!
Thank you for your donation. It will help provide crucial services to those struggling to live with the realities of HIV/AIDS.
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