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A donation coming /Hiv resistant people

May 7, 2004

DOC I am now at breaking point, i have been under enormous stress for 8 months. I had protected sex last Aug in China but due to symptoms feel the condom must have failed. I have significant weight loss, gastric and throat and ear problems ongoing,after 3 months i had a prostate infection which they said was NSU cleared up with antibiotics.They detected a past Toxo infection.(also hiv link) I had 6 negative Elisa tests out to 7 months after each neg Elisa some other symptom seemed to kick in which was associated somehow with HIV. At month 8 i had a pcr test which was negative, great, move on ? No because my wife then tells me she has had a rash on her forehead for 2 months (didnt notice due to long fringe) our Doctor doesnt know what the Rash is.

This has put me to breaking point and i dont know what to do next. If i ask my wife to get tested without question its 28 yrs of Marriage over.

I am assured by the test centre that the tests i have had done will pick up all strains of HIV 1 and 2. Therefore that leave me with 2 possibilities

Could i be one of those people who are hiv resistant? i had sex with my wife 5 days after my China episode, if i had been exposed but was resistant could i still have passed it to my wife ? Are these people very rare ? how many% Whats the likelyhood?

Am i a late developing antibodies ? Would the PCR have picked something up in this case? What other test can i take?

Re my wife's Rash, is it normal for it to appear so long after infection? and for it to last so long? its like 2 parallel lines of 5 small red raised spots on her forehead.

I know how busy you are but i dont know what else to do. I will Gladly donate. I have tried so many times now , you are my last resort. Thanks Rob

Response from Dr. Frascino


I'll be very brief and direct, as your situation is so similar to so many others already posted in the archives, and my advice is exactly the same.

You had "protected sex," therefore your HIV risk is essentially nonexistent, unless the latex condom failed. When a condom breaks, it is very obvious like a balloon popping! It's as obvious as your head poking through the neck hole of your sweater! This is not a subtle occurrence. You would have noticed it if it occurred. OK, so you have essentially no HIV risk.

Next, you had six negative ELISAs out to seven months, and an eight-month negative PCR. That's seven tests more than you needed. What part of "HIV is not your problem" don't you understand?

Next, neither your wife's nor your symptoms are related to HIV, because you don't have HIV.

Next your assumptions:

1. Past toxo infection has nothing to do with HIV.

2. You are not "hiv resistant."

3. You cannot pass something on to your wife that you don't have.

4. You are not late to develop antibodies and yes, the PCR would have been positive.

5. Other tests to take? Nope. You've had way too many already.

Your problems are related to stress and guilt, not HIV.

If your wife has a skin rash, she should see a dermatologist. Your next stop should be to see a psychiatrist or counselor. Your fears are totally irrational and unwarranted. Stop chasing a disease you could not possibly have. Yes, read the archives, stop freaking, and most importantly, get some counseling!

Feel better, Rob. Thanks for your willingness to donate. You have experienced what "fear of HIV" can feel like. You can just imagine the challenges of actually coping with the realities of living with the virus. Your gift will help those living with these realities.

Dr. Bob

A minister asking, Should I woohooo, Boohoo or re-test?
How did Magic Johnson become infected

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