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SHALL I RUN AROUND TIME SQUARE NAKED FOR AN ANSWER?
Mar 30, 2004

Doc, why cant you just answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm trying my hardest to reach you but you never answer. IM TRYING FOR THE LAST TIME. I dont mean to sound rude but Im going crazy over here. Doc I was talking to my professor, he's one of those close talkers. anyways I felt something around my eye and maybe in my eye. Im not sure it went directly in. I asked him if he was bleeding in his mouth he said that He was bleeding earlier on in his mouth. Now I was wondering if he was still bleeding and some of it got in my eye what are my chances of contract AIDS. Im going crazy. I want to kill myself. TELL ME WHAT TO DO? When I went to the washroom and looked in my eyes i didnt see any visible blood. BUT STILL Crazy guy

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Crazy Guy,

I haven't answered, because I really was waiting to see you on CNN Headline News buck naked, sprinting around Times Square. After all, that's how everyone else gets their questions answered here. Why should you be any different? OK, drop trou and start running!

The other reason I didn't respond is that I have responded to other concerns exactly like yours. So your answer was "in the archives" all the time, just waiting for you. I'll use this as a reminder to our readers to check the archives first, if you have a question. You'll be amazed how often the answers you are looking for turn out to already be posted. That will also save you from having to get my attention by streaking naked across Times Square, doing cartwheels down the center aisle when Congress is in session and trying to push through a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage or perhaps most dangerously, by telling Condi Rice and Donald Trump on national TV that their hairstylists need to be shot.

OK, back to you Crazy Guy. The risk you contracted HIV from feeling "something around your eye and maybe in your eye" that might have been spittle from your close-talking professor is nonexistent. Even if he said he was bleeding "earlier." If you are "going crazy" and want to "kill" yourself, the only thing you should do is see a psychiatrist. They are the "crazy people" specialists. You have nothing to fear from HIV; however, your unwarranted fears and irrational thoughts are indeed a bit of a worry. Two things that are for certain:

1. HIV is not your problem.

2. Your haircut is better than Trump's.

Dr. Bob



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