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A $240 Hand Job
Mar 30, 2004

Dr. Bob:

First, let me say a collective thanks for the thousands of people who read your post everyday and are informed by your responses. It is great to have a doctor respond to all of our concerns. Here is my concern: I paid a lady of the evening $80 to perform a hand job. Prior to starting her "job" she opened a can of beer (I didn't think I was that bad-but apparently she had to drink prior to her performance. While performing the "job" I noticed a group of needle marks on her arm, which I assumed to be track marks from heroine. She was fully clothed and used lotion as a lube. Subsequently, I became concerned that she may have had a tiny cut on her hand from opening the beer can, and that heroine use put her at a higher risk for HIV.

I tested at 25 days and 81 days at $80 a test; hence, the $240 hand job. Both test were negative. But now I've begun to worry if I need another test. Is another test recommended? Thank You!!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You want the price of the handjob to go up from $240 to $320??? Geez, at those prices, your handy friend should be drinking aged cognac, not Budweiser. No, my friend, no further testing is warranted or necessary. In fact, based on what you told me, your handjob should only have had the $80 price tag. Testing really wasn't necessary at all, even if she was an HIV-positive junkie, and even if she had a tiny cut on her hand. If HIV were as easy as that to contract, it would have wiped out the whole planet years ago. Save your money, or better yet, consider donating it to a worthy charity.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob



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