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Mar 28, 2004

Dear Dr,

I am writing to you to say I think that the fact that is put on this website, and several other websites I find misleading and dangerous, the fact that "sexual orientation won't kill you, but AIDS will" I think is a deadly misrepresentation.

Let me give a few examples as to why I believe this:

1. If a hetrosexual 17 year old man (who doesn't use IV needles) has unprotected sex with a woman who is 32 or 33 would everyone be shouting at him saying? JESUS CHRIST!! She could have given you HIV!! No I don't think so, all the boys would have been patting him on the back, wonderful, good for you son, bedded an older woman, fantastic! end of that story!

2. If a hetrosexual man in his 20s, has 10 female sexual partners, has unprotected vaginal intercourse with all of them, would all his friends be shouting "They could have given you AIDS, jesus you should be more careful than that!" No I don't think so, he'd be a hero for his friends, a top bloke that he managed to get all those partners in a short space of time.

3. If a 17 year old gay man had unprotected anal intercourse both insertive and receptive with another gay man who is 35, what would way be saying? JESUS CHRIST! DID YOU KNOW HIS STATUS? ARE YOU 100% SURE HES NEGATIVE!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE SENSE THAN THAT!! YOU'LL HAVE TO GET TESTED IN 3 MONTHS!!

4. If a gay man in his 20s, has unprotected anal intercourse with 10 different gay men, what would we be saying!! JESUS CHRIST!!! HES GOT TO BE HIV-POSITIVE, ALL THOSE PARTNERS, ALL THAT UNPROTECTED SEX, F**K LETS ARRANGE HIS FUNERAL ALREADY!!

This clearly shows the difference in risk assessment come on!! Men are not at true risk from unprotected sex with women, its very very rare in this US, the UK, Europe etc... only in Africa need they worry about hetro exposure! Why bother putting so much into hetrosexual HIV prevention when there haven't even been 50,000 cases among sex between men and women? But yet HIV affects the gay community the worst and I didn't hear anything about the need that I SHOULD HAVE TO wear a condom when having sex with a man? I could have easily f**ked up my life from my Bi experience, I had sex with a man up the ass without protection who later told me he was HIV positive. I got tested at 7 months and LUCKILY VERY LUCKILY I have tested Negative. So many men are probably unknowingly putting themselves at risk, why not help save their lives instead of highlighting comments about hetro transmission when they aren't even considered high risk? I don't mean to add any disrespect in with this email but lets skip the bullshit and get to the facts, HIV started and remains high in the gay community, So why don't we just say that men are at no risk from women? I mean how many men have *really* caught it from a woman, and not from ashamed drug use or *embarrassing* gay experiences, lets be realistic and look at the truth!!!!!!

Response from Dr. Frascino


You have sent me many, many rants, and if I really wanted to "skip the bullshit," I would have just pushed the delete button once again. However, your commentary is now becoming a bit more transparent. It appears that your single gay experience was so traumatic for you that you have now transferred much of your anger to the entire gay community. Certainly you made a mistake by having unprotected receptive anal sex, as this activity (heterosexual or homosexual) carries the highest risk for possible HIV transmission. I'm delighted you dodged the bullet; however, you are now making another mistake by suggesting unprotected heterosexual sex does not carry a significant risk for HIV infection. As I have told you before, you can choose to "believe" whatever you wish. But, your beliefs do not change scientific fact, which, as far as HIV transmission is concerned, is irrefutable.

There is no doubt some sexual practices carry higher risks than others, as I have pointed out repeatedly over the years, but the advice for each of the four scenarios you proposed gay, straight, bi, or whatever should be exactly the same: Use a latex condom and plenty of water-based lubricant if you are going to have sex!

If you really think an HIV virus in the U.S. or Uganda can tell the difference between a gay and straight person, you are mistaken (and lack even a shred of common sense). This will be the last of your ramblings I'll be posting, so you can save yourself some time by not sending any more, which will also save me time deleting "bullshit." I also would suggest that a course in statistics that explains the basic concepts of disease prevalence versus incidence, as well as a basic course in the biology of infectious organisms might be a better use of your time. Finally, regarding your traumatic gay experience, please consider getting some counseling before you make another tragic mistake that might have even more tragic consequences.

I wish you enlightenment and health.

Dr. Bob

Thanks so much Dr Bob
Worry, Worry more, Worry-est!

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