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Just found out HIV+ spouse

Mar 7, 2004

Dr. Bob, My husband and I just found out that he is HIV+ about a month ago and so far we are doing well with the news. I was tested a month ago and my test was non responsive with a rapid test. They recommended that I be retested to be sure, since we had unprotected sex just a couple of days prior to us finding out his results. We have been married 7 years and together 8 years, our lasts tests we in Aug of 96 and were negative then. So we think the HIV is just within the last couple of years. I have heard conflicting times on when to have a second test and want to be sure about when is the best time. I am not really too worried, but just want to be sure. We also wanted to say that we love reading your insight and your column and it has really helped us put a perspective on what has happened with us recently. I am happy to say that my husband and I are beating this together and we are making sure he is going to do what he can to stay healthy. His initial tests were good CD4 were good,around 580 and viral were around 4700. I know some people can't handle this but, believe me it is handleable. I applaude you for what you are doing here, it is a wonderful and generous thing for people who need to know some answers.

Thanks again, Jacque

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Jacque,

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband's recent positive HIV test. I'm very pleased you have decided to battle this challenge together! Your negative rapid test is very encouraging. The CDC recommendations for unprotected receptive vaginal or anal sex with a partner known to be HIV-positive would include testing at three months and again at six months. Should you develop symptoms consistent with ARS in the interim, additional testing, including viral load testing, should be considered. Your husband's HIV specialist should be a good resource, if any questions or concerns arise during this period.

As for this being "handleable," yes, I couldn't agree more! Steve (Dr. Steve on The Body's Tratamientos Forum), and I have been together for over a decade as a magnetic couple (one poz, one neg). Ours is a relationship of strength, love, fulfillment, and intimacy. Neither HIV nor a hate-filled constitutional amendment can change that.

Good luck, Jacque. Let me know if you have additional questions. Steve and I are more than willing to share our insights and experiences, and offer whatever advice and assistance we can. We both send you both our warmest wishes as you begin this unscheduled detour on life's never predictable path.

Stay well. Stay happy.

Dr. Bob

boyfriend tested +
WOOO HOOO and donation from Hong Kong

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