The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App 
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
Ask the Experts About

Safe Sex and HIV PreventionSafe Sex and HIV Prevention
Rollover images to visit our other forums!
Recent AnswersAsk a Question
  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

Family Man Again

Jan 19, 2004

Dear Bob,

Although you never answered my posts, I'm here writing again. I'm that married Brazilian, 3 daughters, that went out with a street hooker once in 10 years, to do something different or whatever. It happened a month ago and had no penetration sex, because I freaked out. Now it's 4 A.M. and I'm desperate again. Funny, huh? Well, I'm not asking anything this time. I'm just writing, well, to help me to relief my guilty and this desperate felling of insecure. You may say "no penetration, no HIV" as I read you saying before. But it doesn't help much. Im alone, Im worried, and sometimes I have this picture in my mind that I could have infected my wife and daughters. And it's pretty scary. Beyond my worst nightmares. And I still have two months before the 3 months test. It comes in cycles, this thinking and the anxiety. Sometimes it's light. Sometimes I almost can't handle. Sometimes I just want to die to not have to face my family again. You probably will think I'm an idiot. And maybe I am. But I'm having a hard time.

Thanks for your support

Family Man

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Brazilian-guy,

No, of course I don't think you're an idiot. You've made a mistake that now you feel guilty about. That guilt is feeding your fears of HIV. Your real risk appears to be minimal to nonexistent from what I can discern from your "no penetration" comment. And without any doubt whatsoever, your fears are way out of proportion to that risk. So what should you do? First, you need help coping with your irrational fears an anxiety. For crying out loud, it's 4 a.m. and you're writing to me instead of sleeping!!! I think some professional counseling and perhaps some anti-anxiety meds could really help you over the next eight weeks while you're waiting for your HIV test results. Second, I'd suggest leveling with your wife. Yes, telling her will be difficult, and she may get madder than a samba school dance instructor with a broken cha-cha heel, but ultimately I'll bet she'll realize you are indeed sorry. We are all human. We all (yes, even me) make mistakes. Relationships are strengthened by challenges and honesty, even when that honesty is initially painful.

Good luck, Brazilian Guy. I'll be waiting for your WOO-HOO in eight short weeks! In the interim, get the support you need.

Dr. Bob

How many people?
Thanks so much

  • Email Email
  • Glossary Glossary

 Get Email Notifications When This Forum Updates or Subscribe With RSS



This forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not rendering medical, mental health, legal or other professional advice or services. If you have or suspect you may have a medical, mental health, legal or other problem that requires advice, consult your own caregiver, attorney or other qualified professional.

Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither nor any advertiser is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Review our complete terms of use and copyright notice.

Powered by ExpertViewpoint