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What's more difficult to obtain? A catchy title or HIV?
Jan 13, 2004

Dr Bob,

I thought I would conduct my own piece of literary time-wasting for you, concerning a couple of different topics.

First of all, I had unprotected insertive sex with a young wench of unknown status back in may some time. I tested negative for every STD under the sun in november. I guess we call this difinitive, right?

But I'm one of these people who just can't shake it. At no point have I had any symptoms, or convinced myself I have symptoms - but thats what scared me the most!! And now I have become one of those ultra-paranoid people who is scared of like, I dunno, using public toilets and stuff, despite known for a fact that I cannot contract the disease this way! I'm not going to ask if testing is warranted, but what about therapy!?

All I'm thinking is maybe I don't need to go do down that road if you can tell me that I'm being completely irrational. I keep trying to convince myself that it's all in my head and to stop thinking about it. But it doesn't work.

So in short, just tell me that I'm a paranoid freak and unless I have unprotected sex or share a needle then I am at no risk.

If you could sort of mock and humble me a bit as well then I'm sure it will help me to mental recovery!!

Last but certainly not least, I hope you had a fine Christmas and see in the New Year smiling, looking forward to love, peace, happiness and progress. Keep the work up, you're a remarkable individual.

Yours truly, English freak

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello English Freak,

You want me to mock and humble you? No, I'm sorry. You've got the wrong website for that. Try www.Donna-the-Dominatrix.com. I hear she's quite good.

So, are you a paranoid freak for continually worrying about HIV, even after testing negative six months after the potential exposure? Well, paranoid yes. I agree with that part. But "Freak?" I don't know. I'd need more information. Let's try this quick quiz. Did you find Margaret Thatcher a turn on? If so, yeah, you're freaky all right.

Should you get therapy? Considering you are scared of public toilets, yes I think counseling could be very beneficial. Otherwise, you might wind up with poopy pants someday. Now that would be a humbling experience!

Good luck with your "mental recover" and tell Donna I said, "Hi."

Dr. Bob



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