for all worried wells - read this
Dec 18, 2003
I hope this might help to many others to calm them down and get tested.
You all have heard this story many times, but when you are the worried well, it is hard to believe! Listen to this.
2.5 years ago I had unprotected sex with anonymous girl. I knew that she was from the "good" environment, so I did not worried at that time. Half a year later during the wild party, I had protected sex with the sex worker. I used the condom, but it broke and before I noticed, I was inside her unprotected for some time. I asked her about her status and she said she is OK. The same day me and my friend took some drugs and talked about many things. He was a person that sleeps around just with everybody and slept + - with 100 sex workers. I was saying to myself, If someone is infected with HIV, it must be him. He told me he had sex with the first girl I told you about, couple of months before me. And then it started. Maybe because of drugs and my conviction, that he must be infected, I became completely paranoid about everything. I was sure I had HIV. From the girl, from the sex worker and from every girl I have ever slept with. For the first week I could not live. I could not breathe, concentrate, eat, sleep, think. I was a trembling kinkle of fear. And guess what. After two weeks came all the symptoms. uaaaaaa Now I was really mentally f....d up. The symptoms stayed with me for half a year and since then I never felt completely fit. Tired, sorrow throat all the time, sweating, pressure behind the eyes... My brain was constantly occupied with thinking about HIV/AIDS. 80 of my mind was busy with solving this problem and I was left only with small portion of capabilities to use in normal life. I was hundred times per minute thinking I AM INFECTED/I AM NOT INFECTED. I lost my loved girlfriend, my friends, did not look for the job, my family was very unhappy because, they did not know what is wrong with me. I could not tell them. I was so afraid to go to get tested. I realised, that I am in deep depression and I can't go like this anymore, I would kill myself soon. So I went for psychiatric help. But I could not tell the doctor the real problem. My fears of being infected. I was always trying to solve it myself in my head. I spend 2 years in this kind of condition. I was a living dead. A zombie. I had no life, just surviving each day. My favourite activity was sleeping. Nervous, angry, unkind to others, irritated easily.... I was thinking about suicide again. And because I gave up my life, I decided to find out how the things really are, even thou I was sure I Am HIV+. Because I was so exhausted over those two years, I was able to go to do the test. Over the time I lost all my feelings, fear, happiness, love.....terrible I went to do the test after two years of paranoia and..............................................................negative
I have my life back and I am different person now. I got the second, undeserved chance and I am going to use it. I must restore my life and start to get moving. There is so much things to do.....
I know now that all my health trouble, the symptoms etc, were caused not by the HIV, but by the Anxiety syndrome. I was suffering serious mental problems and I refused to accept it. I will seek help now and ask how to get back to my life and overcome this trauma. It took me two precious years of my life and nearly cost me life....and I was worrying with no reason....let this be a lesson for other worried wells.
1] people, play safe game, that's the key 2] I you are worried, get tested immediately otherwise you are asking for great mental trouble 3] talk to somebody, do not refuse help, seek help
Ya-Hoo for me...................................... may the force be with you, I hope you all will Ya-Hoo too
PAVEL from central Europe
PS:You are doing a great job BOB. The most helping site ever. Unfortunately I found this site just two days before I got back my results. Still it gave me so much important information and strength. Thank you
Response from Dr. Frascino
Hello Pavel from Central Europe,
Thanks for taking the time to write in and share your story and your good news! WOO-HOO! Or YA-HOO! Or whatever they say in Central Europe. I do hope your story will inspire other "trembling kinkle of fear zombies" to take the test. After all that zombie-look is really only popular in the greater Transylvania area, isn't it?
Stay well. Happy Holidays.
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