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tired,hopeless,frustrated,depressed,doubtful, scared, guilty individual has a question

Oct 26, 2003

HI Dr. Bob, I wish you could be near by so I could talk to you directly, but finally I have a little bit of courage to talk about this in this tool. As the title indicates I'm completely hopeless and searching for some help, I am married and have a wonderful and faithful wife, I was stupid enough to get involved with another woman in one of my trips without any protection. Since then my life has been like (I imagine now) hell, I got sick three weeks after exposure with a strange feeling I never had before a sore throat with white spots and then stomachache and diarrhea for a few days since then, a lot of strange symptoms, three months after the exposure I had a very bad infection where all my throat was full of puss, since then I have had a lymph node on the neck close to the throat big and swollen of curse difficult swelling anything, I have had neck pain, strange headaches, low grade fevers, unexplained diarrheas for a day, recently I have noticed bags below the eyes, and have had some weird feeling in the eyes like if some trash was in there, some strange pain in the knees. I know I look like hypochondriac guy now, but I also know I did not have any of this before that day.

The worst thing is I'm not alone in this, I have dragged the person more valuable to me to this living hell, I had sex with my wife after that day and before I got sick in the third week. She got sick a week later with the same symptoms, with white spots in the throat and then diarrhea for few days, after that I was so worried at the time so that is when I told her about what had happened. She got a vaginal infection three weeks after I told her, she is now having a strange rash in the neck and the upper part of the leg, she had some blood test done and had high cholesterol when she does not eat very much fat at all, she is having some strange red colorish mucus on the middle of her period and also she has had some headaches and neck pain, besides she is got a cramp on her legs and pain in the back. Im so scared for her and what I could have possible done to her. Every time I read about this disease is like every single symptom mentioned has happened to us. I have tested three times now, at the 4 weeks , at 10 weeks and at 4 months. All of them have come normal tests besides I got test for most of the STDs at the 4th week exam as well, my wife had a 4 month test and came back normal. Still some symptoms have come after that 4 month test. The doctor says that I should not worry about it, but the truth is nothing of these happened to us before, so I do not know what to think, I guess I should wait until the 6th month to take the test again?? I have read your notes, Im sure you are a very compassionated Dr. as well as very energetic and encouraging person Thanks for being there for all this people that do not understand until a 4 by 4 hit us in the forehead.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Dear Tired, Hopeless, Frustrated, Depressed, Doubtful, Scared, Guilty Individual,

Notice the title says a lot but does not mention HIV-infected. You are indeed all the things you list, and you are indeed NOT HIV-infected. Both you and your wife had negative HIV tests at 4 months. That's definitive. HIV is not your problem, and it's not your wife's problem either. I just can't say it any plainer than that. You, and perhaps your wife, are suffering from anxiety. Ask your doctor for a referral for counseling. Bring this post with you to your first visit. No further HIV testing is warranted. If you do have more tests, they too will be negative.

Now don't make me hit you in the noggin with another 4-by-4 to make you understand this fact OK? Get the help you need and stop chasing an illness you do not have.

Dr. Bob

Dr. Robert Frascino PLEASE HELP first posted on Jun 4, 2003

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