In March of last year (2002)and oral sex was performed on me by an unknown female. I tested negative after 4 months. My doctor said that I do not have hiv. I seem to experience some hiv symtoms: pain on hands, feet tingling teething hurting. Should I retest. I need your advice. I know you have discssed this in other questions. This is my 4th letter. Please reply. I would like to make a donation to your organization. Let me know where to send it. My behavior is shamful. I am well educatd and married. I am form Africa and have lived here for 25 years. Please assure me that I do not have hiv. I cannot seen to let go. Your advice will save me and my marriage.

Stay well. I hope to hear from you.

Devastated man

Hello Devastated Man,

Oral sex carries an extremely low risk for HIV transmission. An ELISA test 3 months or more after a possible exposure is considered definitive. Your doctor said you do not have HIV. Now, you have a second opinion as well. I agree with your doctor. You do not have HIV! Your symptoms are not even consistent with HIV! So to sum up, you had a very minimal risk, symptoms not consistent with HIV, and a negative definitive HIV test at 4 months. Should you retest? No, I see no reason whatsoever. If you can't "let go" of your irrational fears, you should ask your doctor for a referral to a counselor to help you cope with these unwarranted fears. Your "devastation" is not viral, but rather induced by anxiety. Get the help you need. Once you put these fears behind you (where they belong), I'm quite convinced you'll feel dramatically better!

Dr. Bob