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canIwhohoo
Oct 16, 2003

Dear Doc, I have been reading your answers for almost a week, since I have had my first HIV test done. I don't know the result yet. My point is, how would you know if your partner is infected unless s/he discloses him/herself. Who can keep using condoms forever? I have been reading on every single site that people say it is not necessary to disclose. This is unethical. I have slept with a girl, and she said that she was HIV (-), yet she broke up with me the next day, and I am anxious. What if she was an HIV (+)? I know you will make your joke again, and say probably she was unhappy with your sex drive, or something else.. I am serious. How would you know if the person you sleep with is HIV (-) or not? Think about that: there is a bunch of people hiding their HIV status from the people they sleep with, who claim that it is OK, and bunch of others who can't sleep for days and months because of the fear of getting infected from those. (This is not an offense, I totally respect those being HIV infected and living their lives. I am probably one of HIV (+)s too) I would have a heart attack if I hadn't read your answers here so far. You widened my horizon.. not just from the HIV/AIDS perspective, the whole life...

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

How would you know if your partner is infected? You don't! If he/she discloses their HIV positive status, then you know, but if they say they are negative, you still don't know for sure.

Who can keep using condoms forever? Well, since I'm positive, I will, for one.

Disclosing or not disclosing is a hot topic. But it seems to me perhaps that's not really what we should be discussing. I feel it's up to each and every person to protect his or her own health. As I've said before, even if someone slapped a lie detector on his Mr. (or Mrs.) Happy, I still wouldn't believe him (or her). We should all know how to protect ourselves from STD's, including HIV. If we choose not to do so, it's a personal decision.

HIV-positive, as well as HIV-negative, folks need to stay protected. HIV-positives need to avoid secondary infection with more aggressive strains of the virus, as well as STD's. They should also, of course, be worried about passing the virus on to their partners. HIV-negative folks should protect their negative status at all costs that's a no-brainer!

Now what about that lady who broke up with you after one night? Well, perhaps it was your "sex drive;" but maybe she was just taking you for a "test drive;" or maybe she wasn't impressed with your "driving skills" or your "driver." Who knows!?! The point is if you had used a condom, you wouldn't be worried, right? So there you have it! That's your answer. Buckle up for safety when you climb into the driver seat each and every time! Stay well.

Dr. Bob



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