Please Dr. Bob, here's my story:(
Oct 6, 2003
Dr. Bob, this is the second time I'm writing. I did something very, very stupid about 5 weeks ago and am angry and ashamed of myself for what I've done. I'm not a homosexual, but 5 weeks ago, I fucked a man in the ass without protection who I met outside of a club. He was just going to give me a ride home, but then he told me he was gay, one thing led to another, he gave me a BJ in his car and we ended up in his apartment. There he lubed his ass up with lotion and I proceeded to fuck him analy. I probably did this three or four times for around 5 minutes total. He also deep throated me during this night. We both crashed on his bed. The next morning when I woke up, I took a shower and saw 5 prescription bottles in his medicine cabinet. I got out of the shower and went to put my clothes back on and he came out. I asked him about the pills in the cabinet and he said it was for tonsilitus and also that most of them were empty, but then he was very distraught when he couldn't find a baggy of little blue pills that he had the night before. Since then, I've had some symptoms, namely swollen and slightly painful armpits (could this be caused by stress?). I also had constapation and slight fever and scratchy throat a week afterwards. The armpit problems started about then to but remain still (at 5 weeks). I took a home access test at 30 days and the result was negative. First, does this sound like it could be seroconversion. Second, how can I stay sane while waiting for another test, I feel like since my armpits are swollen, I have it (it's driving me crazy!!!). Thirdly, I was wondering if I could catch HIV from recieving head from a guy with a tonsil disease. Fourth, I didn't know at the time that you could catch HIV from giving anal sex, I feel like kicking myself to death for doing something so stupid in the first place, even though I didn't know the risks. I didn't see any blood or anything and he seemed pretty 'loose' as it was, but damn, the lymph noded in my armpits, I've been going crazy for 5 weeks straight now. Finally, when talking about 'per incident' risk percentages, what amount of time is one 'incident' considered?
p.s. I think you're an awesome doctor and have been helping me with all of your great replies on this board, thank you.
Response from Dr. Frascino
You are not gay, but got picked up outside a club by a dude who gave you a blow job in his car, and then you ended up in his apartment where he "ended-up" (so to speak) and you screwed him . . .. three or four times!!!... and then he deep throated you during the night??? WOW! I know gay guys who don't see that much action in a whole month!
OK, on to your questions. Your lapse in judgment was "unprotected" anal sex. This does place you at some risk for STD's, including HIV. Yes, even as the insertive (top) partner.
What about the prescription bottles in his medicine cabinet? Well, first of all, I'm surprised you were snooping around in there! Miss Manners would not approve. Blue pills? Well, the most famous would be Viagra! That would explain his being so distraught when he couldn't find them (and might also explain all the action and staying power from the previous night). So, let me answer your specific questions:
1.No, your symptoms do not sound like ARS.
2.The best way to stay sane during the 3-month window period would be to get some counseling.
3.No, tonsil disease does not lead to possible HIV transmission; only HIV disease can do that. However, other STD's are a possibility. For instance, if your partner had active gonorrhea in the throat and gave you head, you could get gonorrhea in your dick.
4.Yes, HIV transmission can occur even if you are the insertive (top) partner. The risk for the receptive partner is even greater.
5.One "incident" is defined as one potential exposure. The "amount of time" doesn't really play into the odds-risk equation, and is more dependent on other factors for instance, "talent" of the sex partner, dose of Viagra, and stuff like that.
Your 30-day negative test is encouraging, but not definitive. You'll need an FDA-approved test at the 3-month mark. The odds are very much in your favor for not having contracted the virus; however, testing at 3 months is still warranted and recommended.
Finally, what to do:
1.Get tested at 3 months.
2.Get counseling between now and then, if you're having difficulty coping with the stress during the window period.
3.Stop snooping around in your tricks' medicine cabinets!
4.Give the guy back his baggy full of Viagra tablets.
5.Always use protection whether you're gay or straight, top or bottom.
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