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My partner does not know I am "HIV" +, how do I convince him of a protective sex?

Sep 11, 2003

Hi Robert! first,keep up the good work! you guys are amazing... now my question is: I'm HIV + and my partner does not know about my status, he does not like using protection but I do insist specially everytime we want to practice intercourse. However he says that that's not the way for him. However we have maintained a pretty good realationship despite this issue... what should I do? should I keep insisting on having protective sex? how do I convince him? I'm not ready to talk yet... pls advise? Thanks a lot in advance.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Your boyfriend's behavior is worrisome and risky.

Since it always takes 2 to do the sex tango, you can continue to say that even if condoms are "not the way for him," they are for you. There should be no compromise on protecting your health, even if he's reckless with his. And you can tell him that.

Ideally, I would suggest you disclose your status to him as soon as possible, even if you don't feel ready to talk just yet. It really doesn't get any easier with time. In fact, it often becomes more difficult. You may find out your boyfriend is positive too. Or you may wake him up to the potential risks he was willing to take. Yes, there's the possibility he'll walk out on you, but again, isn't it better to know that now rather than later?

Good luck. Continue to insist on safe sex for your sake, as well as for that of your barebacking boyfriend.

Dr. Bob

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