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insertive oral sex

Jul 16, 2003

About 2 1/2 weeks ago, I had an incident w/ another man at a party. He followed me to the basement where he kissed briefly a few times and they tried repeatedly to give me oral sex. I kept stopping him, and it never lasted more than 30 sec. to a min. those three times, because I would come to my senses. I paniced and asked if he had been tested and he said he had 2 wks. prior and was neg. However, he said he had sex 2 months prior (protected) w/ a member of the ROTC and said he had no doubt about that guys chances of having HIV. He said ROTC members get tested all the time and told me not to worry. I still do worry, even though there were no cuts on myself or noticeable blood in his mouth, and the intimacy was brief, but still has me concerned. My therapist and many other people have told me not to even bother getting tested, but I just wanted another opinion. What do you think?

Response from Mr. Kull

HIV is not known to be transmitted through contact with saliva, so essentially there is no need to get tested.

Deciding to get tested is so complicated, and ultimately needs to be primarily a personal decision. If getting an HIV test can relieve a tremendous amount of anxiety, even though the risk for infection is quite low, then it arguably makes sense to get tested. However, if a person feels anxious every time they have sex, and feels the need to get tested after every encounter, HIV isn't the issue and therefore testing isn't going to help with some of the core problems. From a medical standpoint, the answer is clear: you don't test someone for something if there is no indication for it. From a psychological standpoint, it gets a bit more tricky.


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