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important kissing question I can't find an answer to.

Jun 6, 2003

Hi Dr. Bob,

You are wonderful, you never seem to lose your bedside manner. Okay, here is the situation; deep kissing for several hours. Don't know him very well, son of my boss (probably a bad idea anyway) Prior to kissing the guy he brushed his teeth. I don't know if his gums bled or not. But I know sometimes mine do so I don't consider it unlikely. I notice a cut in my mouth(sort of like a paper cut-weird I know) 3 days later. I don't know if it was there before or what. However, worst case scenario, he bled after brushing his teeth, and the cut was there. What is the risk factor? Are we talking significant amounts of blood for it to be a major concern, or just the type of blood you may rinse away after brushing. I know this may seem like a nutty question, I just want to know the level of risk. Because truly, this can happen anytime, even if you don't have a cut in your mouth, people do brush their teeth as not to be stinky for their first kiss. Please answer, this is driving me nuts, I don't have sex anymore because I'm afraid, now I have to torture myself about this. I have a 1 year old child and now I'm terrified to even share food with her.(she is the reason I stopped having sex so I wouldn't have to be anxiety ridden!) PLEASE RESPOND. Thank you very much for your help.

Response from Dr. Frascino


You mention you have a 1-year-old child, and are terrified to share food with her, and that she is the reason you stopped having sex, so you wouldnt have to be anxiety-ridden. Well, it looks like that approach didnt work. Your anxiety is still very much a problem.

Deep kissing the bosss son could indeed be a very bad idea, or on the other hand, it could get you a promotion. I guess it depends on the kiss! The risk of transmitting HIV from kissing, even if you both brushed to avoid being "stinky," is so incredibly low as to be considered essentially nonexistent. Yes, I understand you noticed a cut in your mouth 3 days later. This does not change my opinion. Its like the old song says: "A kiss is just a kiss . . . as times goes by."

Now speaking of time going by, you stopped having sex a year ago to avoid anxiety. Since that hasnt worked, you need to seek help for your problem. There is absolutely no reason for you to be terrified about sharing food with your daughter. Ask your doctor for a referral for some counseling to help you cope with your irrational fears.

Good luck with the counseling and the bosss son!

Dr. Bob

Will everyone know?
Low self-esteem

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