DONATION PROMISE PLEAZE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS
May 25, 2003
Dear Dr. Frascino, I will appreciate your answers or comments a lot because I have been having the hardest time of my life recently. I am worried sick and even started thinking about when I am going to die. Please give me your precious opinion. Around 11 days ago, I had sex with a sex worker and now I am extremely worried. I have some questions but first let me mention some facts about me:
I masturbate a lot, 3-4 times a day and unfortunately I have the habit of not ejaculating for a long time when I get to the point of orgasm. I know thats unusual but just before I ejaculate, I slow it down and try to enjoy that feeling (sometimes for hours), you know the one that tickles just before you come. The other day, I had sex with a sex worker. I put a condom on my penis and she started performing oral sex on me, it was difficult for me to get hard since I had masturbated (for hours) just before having sex with her. She kept on performing oral sex on me for a while and then when we both thought that I was hard enough she lay down on her back and I was trying to enter her vagina in missionary position but I lost my erection probably due to the fact that I had masturbated for hours just before the sexual contact. When this happened I was wearing condom so the tip of the condom was touching and slightly rubbing the entrance of her vagina however I couldnt even enter her vagina. When she realized that she started performing oral sex on me again in order to make me hard. Finally we both agreed it was not going to work. Then I asked her for handjob hoping that it would make me hard, she did it but she took off the condom before she did it. After she tried to give me handjob for a minute or so we both gave up because it wasnt making me hard.
Let me go ahead and ask my first question before telling you the rest of the story. Given that I masturbate for hours and given that she tried to give me handjob without condom, is that possible to get infected due to the fact that there might be some little cracks on my penis (from excessive masturbation) and she might have gotten some vaginal fluids on her hands from the tip of the condom because she took off the condom with her hands. Again, I couldnt even enter her vagina before she gave me the handjob; I was just rubbing outside of her vagina trying to enter it.
After the failed handjob try we waited for a while and I wore a fresh condom to try it again. Then she grabbed my penis (I was wearing a fresh condom) and rubbed it against the entrance of her vagina, this time I could get hard and enter her. At this point I should mention another fact about me: I have a sore in my pubic area (somewhat covered with my pubic hair) from scratching that area with my fingernails and I truly hope its not from a STD, such as herpes. Its more like scratched red skin which I dont think it was bleeding at the time. Its not ON my penis by any means and it was not going inside the vagina but I am wondering if it is possible to get some vaginal fluids on there which might infect me because its very close to my penis so that part was not covered with condom. During and after the intercourse (I smelled my hands and later my underwear which I wore after the session) I could not smell any vaginal fluid. Im thinking it was not a very wet sex which lasted around 10-15 minutes. Another fact is that I also had some small rashes on my pubic from the way I use my hand during my excessive masturbation sessions. By the way, its only an assumption that she is HIV positive since shes a sex worker. I know this might be a biased and unfair judgment but being in such a bad mood one thinks about every little possibility. She was the one who asked if I had condoms shortly after she got in my car.
As you see Im very confused, regretful and depressed. Sometimes I feel a pain in my heart and I know it is from being excessively stressed and worried. I am afraid I might have a heart attack. I tried to give you the facts as accurately and detailed as possible. Knowing the facts, would you please answer my questions and let me know what I should do. Should I get tested for HIV? What do you think of PCR test, should I go ahead and take PCR before waiting 3 months for the standard HIV test? Im craving for your answers. Please help me! I promise to donate some money to your organization. By the way, sorry about the style in my writing, English is not my first language. Thanks and good luck with your precious work.
Response from Dr. Frascino
So you enjoy masturbating 4 times a day for hours and hours at a time, and enjoy that "tickle" felling just before you reach that point of no return. OK, whats so unusual about that? Youre Italian like me, right?
Now on to your problem. You masturbated for hours and hours and then decided to go to a sex worker. OK, but have you ever thought about expanding your scope of interests a bit. For instance, when you finished whacking off for the 4th time that day, how about going to a movie? Just dont pick a porno flick.
Now, back to your question. So you had trouble getting a woody after 4 jack-off sessions at say 3 hours per session. I can understand how that might happen. So you are wondering if her hand-job could have transmitted HIV from possible little cracks on your penis due to excessive masturbation. No, I would say that would be extremely unlikely.
So the hand-job wasnt very successful either, so then she "grabbed your penis" (with fresh condom) and "rubbed it against the entrance to her vagina." My, shes an aggressive little thing, isnt she? And this rough treatment got you hard. The scratch "somewhat covered with pubic hair" also should not be a problem for you as far as HIV is concerned. As for smelling your hands and your underwear after the session, well OK, whatever floats your boat guy! I guess its healthier than smoking a cigarette.
Should you get HIV tests? Only you can answer that question. All I can say is that from what you told me, you have essentially little to no real risk. Why all the worry? You followed the guidelines for safer sex and consequently should have no real cause for concern. If you want to take a test, fine. Wait for the 3-month ELISA, but I certainly wouldnt say its all that warranted, based on what youve told me so far.
Heart attack? No, I doubt it. Youre much too busy having "Hard Attacks!"
Relax guy. I think you are fine.
Thanks for your donation to The Foundation.
The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation 779 Altos Oaks Drive, Suite 200 Los Altos, CA 94024
Stay well, keep practicing safe sex, and dont forget to give Mr. Happy a rest every now and then. After all, you only get one and hes got to last you a whole lifetime!
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