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WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO FOR YOU TO RESPOND? I am only 18 and i fear for the worst
Mar 23, 2003

i had sex with a prositute, i am 18 years old, it was my first time with sex. i live in a country where .1 of the population is HIV +, however i feel she almost positively has it. she put a condom on me, i beleive latex. it only covered about 2/3 of my penis. i did not have a full erection the entire time. in fact, alot of the time i was almost fully soft. we had sex for about 4 minutes. maybe 5. i cannot remember, but i beleive some of her vaginal secretions leaked into the condom, because i was soft and it was not fully covering my penis. i beleive she had bacterial vanitis because her secretions had a terrible odor and she was very very wet. i was not circumsized but the doctor said i dont need to be. i am not sure but i know that the forskin only covers half of my head. anyway, i became pretified when i thought about what i had just done. i told my father, he is convinced i have nothing. this woman is likely to have HIV because she is older and has been having sex alot, she is asian and she goes back and forth to differnt countries. i am about to leave to the US for college in a few monthes and i fear that i have destroyed my future, what i have been thinking only about for the last 2 years. help i am so scared please DO NOT ignore me like the other times. i want to know what the chances are of her fluids leaking into my condom, it was pretty loose, and after sex with her, my penis smelt like her vagina for 2 days. when i pulled back my forskin i saw a slipery fluid and it smelt just like her vagina. does that necesarily mean that he fluids got there? or could the smell go through the condom? these questions seem stupid but i need ot know and none of your forums answer them concretely

this is 2 weeks later and last night i woke up with night sweats, partially running nose, and i feel hot and cold at the same time today and i have been real tired the past 2 days. i fear these may be symptoms of acute HIV infections. also how sensitive is my urethra? does it take alot of fluid to get into my bloodstream? or can it take very little? does her bacterial vaginitis increase the risk of me getting infected? i am petrified and have been checking this site every day for a response but have received none. i went to a doctor today and i got tested for any bacteria or other STDs and all came out negative, and no bacteria was found. the doctor said i do not have hiv since i wore a condom, despite the way it was worn. he also said that usually if she had HIV she would have given me something else too. i would have been convinced but these syptoms i have recently been experiencing make me think otherwise. i told my father and he said i am imagining them, he said its all psychological. PLEASE REPLY THIS TIME. i dont know what i have to do to get your responses. i am so worried because i could have destroyed my life, and my mother, who has done nothing but bend over backwards for me will be devestated, she does not deserve this at all.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello first timer!

First off, relax!!! I agree with your Dad. Most likely you have nothing to worry about. I'm sorry your first sexual experience has been so stressful. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, not anxiety provoking!

Now let's delve into your potential risk. It's impressive that a latex condom only covered 2/3 of your penis, which was "almost fully soft." If the condom was fully rolled down, you must be one big guy!

For future reference, having sex with someone whose "secretion had a terrible odor" is never a very good idea. No wonder you were Mr. Softy.

True, being uncircumcised can be an independent risk factor for contracting HIV; however, that applies to unprotected intercourse (not using a latex condom). With a condom in place - circumcised or not - you should be well-protected from HIV.

Next, be careful of assumptions. You are convinced this gal had HIV "because she is older and has been having sex a lot, is Asian, and goes back and forth to different countries"??? By those criteria, you'd have to assume most airline flight attendants are HIV-positive! "Older?" Hell, you're only 18; they couldn't be too much younger, or sex would be illegal. "Having sex a lot?" The quantity of sex does not necessarily mean an increased risk for HIV. One reckless encounter (unprotected receptive anal or vaginal sex) is much riskier than multiple episodes of safe (latex condom-protected sex). "Asian?" So what? HIV doesn't really care what race you happen to be. "Travels back and forth to different countries?" Again, HIV couldn't care less how many frequent flyer miles you have. In other words, my friend, if your next encounter happens to be a very young, "nearly virginal," non-Asian, who has never traveled farther than your local shopping mall, don't be fooled into thinking she must be HIV negative. Always, always, always, take the appropriate precautions for safer sex.

Next, your "penis smelt like her vagina for 2 days?" What's the matter -- Is your shower out of order or something? Simple soap and water should have taken care of this. By the way, how did you smell your own penis? You must be very flexible.

The slippery stuff when you pulled back your foreskin was most likely your own pre-ejaculate, not her vaginal secretions. No, neither her fluids nor her foul vaginal odor can pass through a latex condom.

Your symptoms sound much more like anxiety than acute HIV. Your negative STD screening is encouraging; however, I don't totally agree with your doctor that "if she had HIV, she would have given you something else too." That certainly is not always the case!

If you're worried, get HIV tested at the 3-month mark. Your risk is extremely low, and the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. I do not think you have ruined your future. It's nice that you don't want to devastate your bending-over-backwards mother, but remember, she's not the reason you should be practicing safer sex. Your health is your responsibility.

Last, but not least, you asked, "How sensitive is my urethra?" That's an odd question. How should I know? If it's anything like the rest of ours, it should be very sensitive indeed!

Bottom line: Despite your fears, the condom most likely was protective. Good luck. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time here in the U.S.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob



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