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Cut on hand in steam room
Dec 23, 2002

Ryan,

You're responses really seem to balance information and kindness. Great forum.

About two weeks ago I was in the steam room at my gym. I briefly jerked off this guy (no ejaculation)and he performed oral sex on me. I didn't ejaculate during oral sex ( I precum alot not sure if this matters re: potential exposure to the fluids in his mouth via my urethra). After this experience I noticed that a cut on my hand had sort of opened up from the steam. It was not bloody and there was thin layer of skin over the red flesh. I don't think the area with the cut came in contact with his penis.

Over the last 4 days - 12 days after this incident I have had muscle aches in my chest and armpits (lasted 4 days) and persistant nausea. No fever, no swollen glands, no night sweats, no sore throat.

The anxiety is overwhelming. I am obsessed and convinced that I have acute HIV infection.

If I was having an acute infection wouldn't I have swollen lymph nodes, a temp, and nightsweats? Is it more likely that my muscle aches are from the cold I just had for two weeks and recently got over?

Am I at risk from this incident or has my fear or guilt gotten the best of me?

Your informed assessment would really help. Thanks.

Response from Mr. Kull

If you have guilt or fear about this experience, give that it's appropriate weight when thinking about your risk for HIV. Guilt and fear can greatly distort one's ability to think clearly about things. How about a touch of kindness for yourself as well: you did nothing wrong, and in fact, your activity was quite safe (in terms of HIV, at least. Your gym might not be as compassionate).

HIV is sexually transmitted through anal, vaginal, and oral sex. Transmission occurs through oral sex much less frequently, and the person performing oral sex (the receptive partner, or the person who puts their mouth on the genitals) is considered at risk. There's no evidence that the insertive partner gets infected; saliva isn't known to transmit HIV. There is also no evidence that people are infected through mutual masturbation.

Please consider talking with someone about your emotional experiences of sex. Sex can bring up a lot of complicated feelings, and talking about them can be a good start towards feeling better.

RMK



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