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Question about Escorts
Jun 7, 2002

Please answer this. I have been with about 10 escorts and 5 "free" girls in the past 2 years. None of these girls were street walkers. I practiced the same level of safety with all of the girls. I have never had intercourse without a condom, but I have had unprotected fellatio from about 3/4 of the girls mentioned above.

My question is, how much more dangerous is it to have protected intercourse with escorts vs. a normal girl?

I understand that escorts generally have more partners than your average girl, but in most cases, I've noticed that they take more precautions than "non-working" girls. Your thoughts?

Response from Mr. Kull

I'm not sure what you mean by "normal" and "free" since they are such loaded terms. But I think I get your question, and it is an important one to address.

From a purely technical perspective of risk, a person who has more sexual contact is at greater risk for sexually transmitted infections than someone who doesn't have any sexual contact or fewer partners. This an important concept, but it's application has often resulted in people saying "Well, have fewer partners. Heck, why not just be abstinent." Needless to say, that kind of talk doesn't help most people.

A person can have multiple sex partners and engage in safer sex. That person will be at less risk for infections than a person who has the same amount of sex partners and does not practice safer sex. So what's important is not only the number of partners, but what you do with those partners. Sex workers, since it is their job, can be quite skilled about safer sex practices (like you mentioned). Many prevention programs that have worked with sex workers have had many successes in educating them about risk and increasing the frequency of condom use among them.

My point is, judging a person because he or she is an escort might get you into trouble. That's not to say that you should go ahead and have unprotected sex with someone who has multiple partners. Where it actually might cause you more problems is what you do with someone who you perceive to be "normal." How do you judge that someone is normal? By the way he or she looks or dresses? Don't normal people have unprotected sex and get sexually transmitted infections as well?

Though it's easier said than done, do your best to get to know your partners. If you do not know your partners (by know I mean know their risk for HIV and other STIs or their HIV status), it is advisable that you use condoms. Even if you do know that you partner is HIV negative or think they are at low-risk for infection, throwing away the condoms is debatable. This is an issue that many couples struggle with. Sometimes it boils down to how much you truly feel that you trust your patner. If there is doubt, use a condom.

Thanks for your honest and provocative question.

RMK



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