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I got gonorrhea. I'm worried I got HIV too???
Jan 2, 2001

This guy and I did a few things: he gave me oral sex without a condom, I gave him oral sex without a condom, he rimmed me (without a condom). Also, more dangerously, he sat down on my penis without a condom (I was the "top"). This lasted about 5 seconds before I withdrew. Then a few minutes later, we had anal sex where I was the "top" - I wore a condom, but we put body lotion all over it. (The condom looked fine and without any rips when I took it off). Now I'm worried about the oral sex & him sitting down on my penis without a condom. I found out I got gonorrhea from him (had to go thru the treatment.) I'm just worried that where there's one STD present (gonorrhea), maybe there was another one too? (HIV)?? I am quite worried and would appreciate your advice. Thank you.

Response from Mr. Kull

I am not sure what specific advice you are looking for, but I do understand your concern. Getting a sexually transmitted infection can be disconcerting and often leads to doubts about your partner's history and status. It's normal for you to be anxious about this, but remember that it is also problematic to start making assumptions about your partner based on what happened to you or what he did. If you know how to contact this person, talking might prove to be a remedy. You could also let him know that you think that your got an STI from him (he may not even know since it's possible that he doesn't have any symptoms). Maybe the conversation would be enlightening in many respects.

Using body lotion for lubricant is not recommended because oils in the lotion could cause microscopic tears that are not visible. It's great that you wound up using a condom, because a condom with body lotion is better than no condom at all. Maybe next time you could forgo anal sex when you are not properly prepared and be more creative with how you get off while being safer. Your risk for HIV infection through oral sex is low.

Try to take this as another experience (that so many people go through) in the profound complexities of sex. Get HIV tested after three months have elapsed and try to be easy on yourself.

RMK



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