Jan 12, 2001
I had an HIV test done this week after almost 10 years without being tested. It was Negative. My doctor told me that the first time they tested me it was Positive....they did two other tests and both came back negative. Just 2 days ago, I was frantic..obsessing on old health problems from my teenage years and trying to self diagnose. ALL...of the health problems I had over the last 10 years could have been symptoms of HIV infection. Swollen Glands and drainage in the back of my throat..I had to see a doctor to get on antibiotics..I thought for sure I was transitioning. Red bumps on the palms of my hands which were probably caused from when I was a smoker. A boil on my genitals 3 years ago that my doctor told me looked like a zit and drained for me. Flu...fatigue...etc. I totally convinced myself that I had the virus. When I was a teenager, I was involved in some HIGH RISK behavior...oral sex with IV drug user and unprotected anal sex. Since the age of 20, I am 27 now...I have been very careful..but always had this underlying nervousness about my HIV status. Finally, when I reached the age where I thought I may want to have a family one day, I decided that I needed to know. I was NOT prepared for the Obsessive Compulsive and Psychological torment that I would face. Even after receiving the results, I still feel emotionally devastated. I spent the last week obsessively researching the virus, trying to match my symptoms, contacting old friends back home to see if anyone is Positive, losing sleep over hours of rehashing all my risky behavior, and literally praying to God for my health. This experience has dramatically changed my life. I URGE EVERYONE who has guilty feelings about past or present behavior to STOP! Just because you messed up once or twice..it does not mean you are positive. START PRACTICING SAFE SEX NOW and continue to......GET TESTED if you have a concern and don't wait for the illness to show physical signs...you may save yourself a great deal of emotional stress, the health of the people you love and your own. I was so happy about my results that I sent my Doctor an arrangement of flowers. Just wanted to share.....
| Response from Mr. Kull
Thanks for your story.
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