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anal sex step by step
Oct 19, 2000

I am a curious female and me and my boyfriend recently decided that we wanted to try anal sex could you give me step by step literature on how to have anal sex if not could you tell what website I could get it from

Response from Mr. Kull

Good for you! I completely approve of being sexually adventurous with your partner. With some patience, communication, and practice, anal sex can be an exciting way to enliven a relationship.

One thing you should always remember: LUBRICATE. Use a water-based lubricant, preferably without nonoxyonl-9, a spermicide that may cause irritation to mucous membranes and possibly increases the risk of HIV transmission. You cannot have too much lubricant, as the anus and rectum do not have the natural lubrication and elasticity of the vagina. Ample lubrication helps prevent tearing and allows the penis to move smoothly, minimizing pain.

People sometimes prefer to give themselves an enema (douche) before having anal sex. This can increase your level of comfort and ability to relax during the process. Have your partner go slow. You can start off by having him use a finger to loosen you up until you are comfortable . Make sure his fingernails are clipped and no jewelry is worn. Try different positions. Some allow deeper penetration than others. Deep penetration is not recommended for beginners, as it may cause discomfort. Pick up a book like the "Joy of Sex" to learn about positions and techniques. I bet you guys could come up with some on your own.

The ability to relax is the key. The first time you have anal sex, it's probably going to hurt, but as you learn to relax it should get easier over time.

Long-term, HIV negative partners sometimes choose to use condoms for anal sex for hygienic reasons. The anus and rectum are more likely to transmit bacteria -- especially STD related -- than the vagina. Feces coming into contact with the urethra (the tube you pee out of) puts you or your partner at risk for urinary tract infections (UTIs). Women are at greater risk for UTIs than men because their urethra is shorter, giving bacteria better access to the bladder. The penis should not come into contact with the vagina after anal sex unless a new condom is worn or the penis is cleaned with soap and water.

Stop having anal sex if you notice bleeding, and see a doctor if bleeding continues. Take a break from it if you feel irritation or develop hemorrhoids.

Some people feel some shame or guilt after having anal sex. I think that is a normal response. Society teaches us that anal sex, among other things, is taboo. Remember, people have done it for ages. I have read statistics that suggest 30% of heterosexual couples have engaged in anal sex. You should do what gives you pleasure and allow yourself to explore your sexuality without imposing moral imperatives.

Good luck and have fun --

RMK



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