Hi Dr. Bob.

Happy belated Halloween. BOO! Did I scare ya? Doh! I guess I shouldn't quit my day job!

In all seriousness, I'm not sure if my experience falls under the umbrella of extenuating circumstances. I need your help before I go completely insane (I might just be half-way there).

About four months ago, while extremely intoxicated, I had french kissed a highly promiscuous gay man half an hour after brushing my teeth (my gums frequently bleed while I brush). The kiss lasted for only a minute. Following the kiss, I had eaten a plate a nachos. A nacho had gotten wedged under the my gumline, which may have caused a cut.

Two to three weeks after this game of tonsil hockey, I became overwhelmed with intense fear. I scavenged the internet looking to see if I had put myself at risk and was only met with contradictory answers, which added fuel to my anxiety. Some mornings I would wake up hours before my alarm clock, enveloped with trepidation and completely sweaty.

What I find odd on some of these mornings was my cat would be perched on my chest, staring at me. Normally, my cat doesn't really give a damn about me. She's more attached to my wife, than to me. Does my cat sense that I may have caught HIV? People do say that pets can sense the well-being of their caregivers, so finding my cat on my chest staring at me during the average seroconversion timeframe scares the living bejeezus out of me.

During this timeframe, I had also experience extreme fatigue and difficulty concentrating. Not sure if my OCD was in hyperdrive or whether I may have sealed my fate with a kiss.

Five weeks after the incident, I developed what appeared to be acne all over my back, trapezius, deltoids, and some on my stomach, albeit not all had white/blackheads. Some where just little red dots. Could this be ARS related symptoms?

My wife and I want to start a family soon and I am extremely afraid that I may have screwed up our lives.

I have leveled with my wife and told her all about this incident. She's thinks I'm completely bananas, but that still doesn't arrest my fear.

A donation is forthcoming.

Thanks,

Freaked out Francophobe

Hello Freaked Out Francophobe,

Your OCD is OOC (out of control). Does your cat sense you have acquired HIV??? No. If Miss Kitty is picking up anything at all, it's just that dad is totally bonkers and she is wondering if you've been hitting the catnip a bit too hard.

Your HIV-acquisition risk is essentially nonexistent. If my reassurance is not sufficient to reason the bejesus back into you, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The result will undoubtedly be negative, but if that is what it takes to keep you out of a padded cell and straightjacket, it will be worth the time and effort.

Thank you for your donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). In return, I'm sending you my good-luck karma that you are and will stay HIV negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob