To Worried Well's
Apr 21, 2006
Dr Bob-
This is my 3rd (and no offense :)) and hopefully last ever email to you as I just got back my 3 mos - test results today and Am WOOO-HOOOOING! I am the one with the swollen lymph nodes in my underarms and groin that has touched base with you over the last 2 weeks with my 4 week, than 7 week and now 3 mos test results.
I know you get lots of emails like these, and thank God you do but I also wanted to express my thoughts to your readers as even if it helps one person out there than it would have been worth my 3 mos of pure hell that my mind put me through.
One week after a potential exposure the lymph nodes in my underarms got swollen and this was the start of a VERY long 3 mos. A month later I then had swollen lymph nodes in my groin so it was evident to me that the HIV was spreading throughout my body. I had an 3 week HIV test (why I do not know as it did nothing to help ease my mind knowing the window period), an std test, mono test, even had surgery done for lymphoma on the lymph node swelling under my underarm. All -. Then came the fevers, rashes here and there that would come and go and off and on sore throat. I got to where I could not leave my house and when I did I made sure to carry with me a huge stack of emails and info that all helped to support the fact that I was HIV -. Guess what, they helped for only seconds each time. Hence, I would wake up and read them, had copies in the bathroom, and made sure to carry them with me everywhere I went and they were the last thing I read before forcing myself to go to sleep. I was conviced HIV was everywhere as every TV show seemed to now do an episode on it, my church started to sponsor orphans in Africa from HIV and of course that was a sign. On and on it went.
For those of you reading this you get the message by now, symptoms do not equal HIV. Just know that the mind is such a wondeful gift but it can also serve as a harsh weapon against ourselves.
I pray for each and every one of you out here for good health both physically and mentally. I admit fully that this email is easy to write today with my good WOO-HOO news but PLEASE try to find it in your heart to realize the countless emails you have already read where it seems as though there symptoms HAVE to be HIV and are not or were not. That most likely is you too! Thats the message of hope. I also pray that each and every one of us NEVER has to go through this kind of mental torture again as remember all this is preventable if we make wise choices from here on out. I plan to take this experience as a good thing as I now know the position I will never put myslef in again. Your time is just around the corner. Hang in there and always remember what this feels like so you will also always remember to not put yourself in this situation again!
God Bless all of you and again my prayers are for all concerned, especially those out there coping and dealing with this disease. They are the ones that truly need our love and support.
Dr Bob, bless you from the bottom of my heart and find you to be amazing in the face of adversity. You are an inspiration of strength. May your foundation continue to thrive to help others and have been happy to donate. I hope others do the same.
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