CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG GAVE ME AIDS!
Apr 25, 2004
god i love that movie... anyways, let me get to the point. so i got pretty drunk this one night, and while watching that marvelous movie, i received a (please read past this word) blow job from a female friend... DONT STOP READING!!!! i know how many worked up individuals come to you convinced they contracted HIV through insertive oral... so to make this one different, lets assume hypothetically that while i was sleeping that night she had unprotected vaginal sex with me.... n such. ok, so the point here was that im having some very troubling symptoms, that while i wouldnt classify as textbook, they are close enough to make me a bit nervous, given the fact i think there may be a chance of this individual being infected. they are as follows:
1 week: flu like cold that lasted a few days (included low grade fever and thrush)
1-4 weeks: intermittent sore throat
6 weeks: swollen finger and foot joints
7 weeks: nasty sore throat again, again with thrush and heavy nasal congestion
some other on/off symptoms have included being a bit sleepier than usual and ive also noticed that ive been seeing an oddly high number of floaters, oh and a single angry lymph node in my neck
i saw a doctor about the throat and he diagnosed it as seasonal allergies... but something seems amuck. the bottom line is do these symptoms sound classic of an hiv infection?? please write back dr. bob.... tell me im not going to be the first documented case of hiv transmittion through oral sex, thats the kind of thing that could ruin ones day!
Response from Dr. Frascino
You love the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang movie? You actually got drunk and had oral sex while watching a movie about a flying car? Gosh, I can't even imagine what happens when you decide to watch Mary Poppins. I saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the musical, in London last year. Even before the car took its first flight, I was looking for a lever to pull so I could be instantly crushed by a falling safe.
Relax Guy. First off, your movie mate did not have unprotected sex with you while you were sleeping. It just doesn't work that way. Besides, after you nodded off, she probably got busy with her life-sized Dick Van Dyke blowup sex doll.
Next, your symptoms are not suggestive of HIV ARS. Last, no, you are not going to be the first documented case of HIV transmission through oral sex. However, you might be the first documented case of Bang-banged during Chitty Chitty.
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