I am the toothbrush spunk gal (for some reason you kept referring to me as a guy). I was only able to donate $50 at this time (Nov.5th) because I recently lost my job after 27 years at the same corporation. I am freelancing now and hope to donate more in the future. You have an amazing ability to calm our fears with your super witty yet extremely intelligent demeanor. I am sure I am not the only person you have heard this from. We all love you!

Hi Toothbrush Spunk-Gal,

Sorry about the gender confusion! I'm not sure why I jumped to that conclusion, other than the general observation that gals are much more sensible, reasonable and knowledgeable about all things sexual (including STDs) than their Y chromosome counterparts. And your question was really, really whacked, so I just figured it had to come from a dude.

Thanks for your thanks and your appreciation of my admittedly twisted sense of humor and wit. Thanks also for your tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). You've just earned yourself some excellent cosmic karma (and helped some folks in desperate need).

I love you too babe.

Be well. (I'm confident you are!)

Dr. Bob

Toothbrush spunk follow-up question-Will donate Nov 8, 2009 I am close to my 3 month testing mark and even though you calmed my fears by saying my risk is negligible at best, I can't get over the fact that the spunk on my toothbrush was brushed vigorously over my gums. If there were active HIV on the brush, couldn't it get in through tiny tears on the gums? Would using toothpaste deactivate the HIV? Below is the original Q&A.

This may fall into the most bizarre category but it is real and I am worried. A few months ago, I was traveling with colleagues overseas for work. Our connecting flight was cancelled at 1:00 am and we were the only people stuck at the airport. When we went to get our luggage, the airport refused to bring it out because it was in storage. The counter person made several phone calls to storage to please send out the luggage. The handlers on the phone were clearly annoyed at having to retrieve the luggage. After an hour our luggage was shoved out to our waiting area. When I finally got to a hotel I took my brand new toothbrush out of the ziploc bag I packed it in and rinsed it lightly, applied toothpaste and brushed. When I went to put the tooth brush back in the plastic bag, I noticed there was a slippery fluid in the bag. It smelled just like semen. I know this sounds absurd but I definitely think a disgruntled baggage handler ejaculated in my toothbrush bag as revenge. I always pack a dry new toothbrush in a ziploc bag when I travel. There is nothing elseI can think of that would cause fluid in the bag, especially with the distinct smell of semen. Nothing else was in the bag and it was not next to any other toiletries. So if this was the case, I am worried. The toothbrush and fluid were in a sealed ziploc, not exposed to air and only lightly rinsed before I used it. Taking into account that this really happened, should I get tested for HIV and other STD's?

Response from Dr. Frascino

"I know this sounds absurd but I definitely think a disgruntled baggage handler ejaculated in my toothbrush as revenge." Oh my. I'd say that one passed up absurd quite some time go. Disgruntled baggage handlers don't get revenge that way, silly boy. Rather they just arrange for a 747 to run over your Louis Vuitton luggage, smashing it to smithereens. But deliberately spunking up your toothbrush? Nah, I don't buy it. However, since you obviously do, I'll mention your HIV-acquisition risk would be negligible at best. Remember, HIV does not survive long outside the body. Ziploc bags are far from airtight. The only reason to consider getting a definitive three-month test would be peace of mind. There is no medical justification for getting the test, but it might help you psychologically. The result will undoubtedly be negative.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Toothbrush-Spunk-Guy,

I remain amazed (and amused) by your ongoing worry that a disgruntled baggage handler spunked your toothbrush to get revenge.

My assessment remains unchanged and your follow-up question once again puts your query into contention for "the most whacked question of the week." So if you win (again), would you like the Chia Pet, Ginsu Knives or amazing Shamwow as your prize??? Oh, and since you are a two-time winner, we'll throw in a bonus gift, "Barry Manilow Sings Punk-Rock Hits from Smashing Pumpkins."

Dr. Bob