May 2, 2008
Hello Dr Frascino... I know you often talk about couples in which one is hiv+ and how they should discuss what risks may be acceptable to each other. I'm hiv+, and undetectable. I recently met this beautiful young man who I am completely crazy for. We get along in and out of bed. In bed, we practice safe sex by using condoms or gloves for fisting. There is one question I have. He won't let me finger him because of my status. How much of a risk is it if I were not to use gloves? It's not that I want to persuade him otherwise, but I simply never considered my finger to pose a danger to anyone before. I will always respect his wishes, but I just wanted to find out more information about this act.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Fingering is not considered an HIV-transmission risk, assuming the skin on the fingers that are doing the exploring of the nether regions is intact. However, I absolutely agree you should "always respect his wishes." Should your relationship continue and grow, the sexual boundaries and comfort zones may well increase.
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