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im hiv want to marry non hiv
Jul 15, 2011

Hi doctor im hiv since 2008 and im undetectable, my cd 4 is very high. i have falled in love again with a girl who i haven't had any unsafe sex with her. Im now in a process to marry each other and i intended not to tell about my status cos im a fraid she will be shocked and stay away from me. Since i have learnt that if you are undectable and cd 4 is high the chance of transmiting hiv is low i have decided to go on with my marriage cos we really love each other. doctor please advise me should i carry on with my plan to marry her?

Response from Mr. Vergel

She may hate you forever if you carry this secret into your marriage. In some states in the United States, what you are about to do is grounds for a lawsuit and legal action. It is not the right thing to do at all. You should tell her. If she leaves you, then she is not the right one for you.

You can tell her and give her all the information you can get from thebody about risks of transmission when someone has undetectable viral load.

I know it is hard to fear rejection from someone you love. I know the feeling. But I think it is selfish to protect our feelings and forget about how lies can hurt others. You should tell her, no matter what your plans for marriage are.

Good luck. It is not easy, but you will be able to better live with yourself no matter what the outcome is.


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