THIS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE
Sep 26, 2000
I simply can not go on. I've been diagnosed for 2 years now. And it kills me more every day. I have never been so afraid of anything like this in my life. Everyday I think what if a co-worker knew. How would I be treated then. I drink more now than I ever have. I used drugs. I feel like I have nothing to live for. I don't feel attractive. Who would want me? I'm not on any meds (per my doctors). I didn't ask for this. I'm so tired of living a lie. I'll be so glad when the stigma goes away. I want my life back. I feel like I'm trying to kill myself but I won't die. I'm not suicidal. But I am so unhappy and so scared I don't know what to do. I'm even scared of support groups. That someone there might know me. Please help me. What am I to do? Signed Losing it.
Response from Mr. Shernoff
You really have to get off of your pity pot, get over yourself and get to a support group. (So what if someone there knows you? After all they are there precisely because they are living with HIV or AIDS also.) It sounds like you could also use AA. At the very least if you can not force yourself to go to a support group then find a good therapist who can help you work on your irrational fears so that you will not spend so much time feeling sorry for yourself, and dying rather than learning how to live with HIV.
Michael Shernoff, MSW
(I am also living with HIV)
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