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Living with a HIV + person (real risks)
Apr 29, 1999

Dear Mike: My wife became infected during our marital seperation appx. 1 year ago. We are since back together. By mutual agreemet, we abstain from all sexual activity. Now, I consider myself an educated person, and I'm well aware of modes of transmssion, and I'm also aware there was never a documented case of transmission among household members/caregivers;however, at times I can't help but worry if I'm livig in danger. Any thoughts or advice for my paranoia? Thanks

Response from Mr. Shernoff

I am glad that you called your reactions paranoia. You very casually just drop that by mutual agreement you are abstaining from sexual relations. Is that the kind of marriage you want?

I would venture a guess that there are alot of unresolved issues and feelings brewing under the surface for the two of you that probably have not been openly addressed. I think that the two of you need to be talking about many things including: why you separated in the first place and how the circumstances that led up to it made and make you each feel; how each of you are feeling about being back together in the current form you are; and how each of you feel about the fact that she became infected. Perhaps as you two really delve into these issues and vulnerably share your feelings and listen to each other, the purpose of your focusing on a nonexistant possibility may become clear to you. Michael Shernoff, MSW



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