FEAR of HIV ---- DO NOT DESTROY YOUR LIVES!!!!!
Jul 13, 1999
Hi Michael; I'm reading here on this forum (and in the others) many questions from people who are afraid of being HIV+ and cannot decide to go for the test. I'm 28 and people says I have everything from life. I'm good looking, high career, high IQ, high salary and everything else. Yes, I'm lucky. Four years ago I developed the fear of being hiv+; I didn't really had motivation to think so (at that time), never used drugs, safe sex only, no blood received. My life for some months was terrible. I was not able to plan anymore, because I was sure I was going to die. I spent many nights awake, "feeling" the virus inside of me, thinking about how to take care of my business and friends before passing away and so on. I don't go too long because I think that is a common story to a lot of people. I let my life be damaged by fear. Me, that I'm always in charge of my life, me that I use to decide everything. It was awful. I was not strong enough to go for a test. Thanks to a pretty strong character I managed to forget, slowly, my fears. I decided one morning that life had to continue. I want to tell something to all these people who are afraid: go for a test. I had to do it, finally, after receiving a terrible medical care in a foreign not developed country. I discovered I am positive. And I feel better than 4 years ago when I was living in fear for something I didn't even knew. Knowing, in one case or the other gives you your life back. Now I'm the one deciding for myself, not my fears. Do not let your fears rule your lives; I believe you can discover a new yourself after going for a test. And if it's positive there's a good chance to learn something about how precious and important is life. Anne
Response from Mr. Shernoff
Life is precious and important for each of us whther or not we are infected with HIV, and that is a lesson that we can never be reminded of too often. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope that you are now receiving the best medical care. Michael Shernoff, MSW
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