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family member has aids and treats everyone bad
Jul 15, 1999

one of my family members has aids thru a blood transfusion and he lives with me but he is so mean to all of us he says that i cant cook or clean right and that i would be better off not around at all i do everything for him and also make the dr appts and go pick up the meds he needs and i work all day but as soon as i walk in the door he acts like a crazy animal with rabies i cant take this any longer what is a person to do i cannot come home and listen to his every stupid comlaint and feel good about myself im losing my self esteem i wont ask him to leave as fear that no one will care for him but i am also married and it is putting a severe strain on my marriage that i looked up my old boyfriend from 10 years ago and go to him for comfort not sex but he is there for me and i care fro him actually more deeply than my husband ,my husband is acting like my brother now and i need to get away form this.thank you for listening to me

Response from Mr. Shernoff

If you have not already done so you need to totally confront the person who is treating you so badly. Just because he is sick is no reason for him to be ungrateful or a bully. I think you need to lay down the law and tell him that if he can't at least treat you respectfully, then he will have to find another place to live as you do not mind taking care of him, but you will not continue to put up with his abusing you. You have to be willing to tell him to leave even if it means that he will not have any place to go. You did not create the circumstances in his life that led up to you being his only resource. It is incredably kind and emotioanlly generous of you to invite him into your home and be the primary care taker, but not if it is at the expense of your serentiy and self esteem and marriage.

He has every right to be angry, but not to take it out on you. You must be strong and get the support of your husband in order to confront this individual.

Good luck in this very difficult and emotionally trying situation. Michael Shernoff, MSW



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