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Mental Confusion?

Dec 26, 1999


It's me again the writer of the entry titled "Scared to death". After being told 4 days ago my 3 year old grandbaby was HIV positive, I decided to go to her Doctors appointment with her mother who has full blow HIV and get all the details about my grandbaby. As you can see from my past entrys I have not been holding up very well mentally knowing that my grandbaby is HIV positive.

This was the first time my grandbaby has seen this desaese specialist so the mother is giving a history to the new I sit there and listen...I hear her say that she is HIV positive,where she is being treated and that her T-Cells are down to 250. Not once do I hear her say the baby is HIV positive! She tells the Doctor that the baby was tested at the Health Department and they would not give her the results but sent her to this appointment. I told the mother to tell the Doctor about the blood test from the previous weekend at the hospital which was when she had told me she found out the baby was positive. I thought she was just upset and had forgotten to mention it. The Doctor ask which hospital and called for test results.

To make a long story short...My grandbaby has never tested positive for HIV...when the mother left the room I told the Doctor what I had been told, she took blood to test the baby and find out once in for all.

Now you know the story...we are waiting again but the doctor told me the baby has a high chance of being positive since the mothers condition is so advanced. I am holding on the the little bit of hope I have left.

I can't seem to be angry at the mother even though she lied about such a terrible thing...I think it's because I know she is dieing and her family has told her it is better if she doesn't come back around. I can't find it in my heart to get mad.

Could it be confusion from the AIDS that made her tell me such a lie...she was crying her eyes out when she told me and I think she really beleive her own lies. She even got confused about the babys appointment the other day and I had to go get her out of bed and take her because she thought it was the next wednesday. She has a big history of lying for attention and I don't know if that is it or if it is the AIDS or medication she is on.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my story and previous entries. This site has been a help to me when I have no one to talk to and I am sure it has helped many others. I will hold my grandbaby a little tighter this Christmas and hope for the best for her and my son.

Response from Mr. Shernoff

I can not begin to guess as to why she has said and done what she she did. She certainly sounds like a very troubled person. I am glad that you are finding this site to be helpfuul to you in this during period. Michael Shernoff, MSW

I think I need help
I want to die

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