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Now he's positive too
Mar 5, 2000

My partner and I have been in a relationship for almost three years. We have had unsafe sex during that time because he can't enjoy sex safely. It was agreed that we would at least be semi safe. Now I spent last Christmas with him at home when we caught him in the middle of sero-conversion. It was the most horrible part of my life. I felt like I had just killed my the man I love. I am having a very difficult time dealing with it and know that even though he says he doesn't blame me I don't understand why he can't. This is ripping me apart and yet I want and need to be there for him through all of this also. Do you have any suggestions on how we can get through all this? Also do you know of any groups we can talk to that involve others in the same manner?

Response from Mr. Shernoff

I would urge the two of you to find a good couples counselor who is an expert in working with couples where one or both have HIV and begin to see him or her on a regular basis. I think you are right that you both are going to need a lot of support. Some AIDS service organizations (ASO) have support groups for couples where one or both have HIV. If the local ASO does have such a group I think it would be very wise for the two of you to join. As you already know, there are going to be a lot of feelings on both of your parts about what has happened. Please seek out and get all the support and help that is available.

Michael Shernoff, MSW



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