Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Nov 3, 2013
I am a 23 year old male and over the past 4 years I have noticed that I have a problem and it's been getting progressively worse and has ruined a great deal of things for me, Whenever I leave the house I have to rattle the door until it feels right. I can be standing there for over a minute trying to get the satisfying feel from the door which puts my mind at ease and convinces me that the house is safe. If I do not do this I will worry all day "what if I didn't close the door properly?" "What if I didn't close the door?" "what if someone breaks into my house?" I will combat that by trying to think rationally so I will think to myself "but you did close it you can remember it" but then my mind will become irrational.
I can rarely enjoy something without ruining it for myself. When playing games now I have a document for each one telling me what's happened so far every step of the way. Some days I can be very good and have a very clear and rational head but other days it can be absolutely mental. I am forever worrying that I might have cancer. The same goes for sore throats and anything slightly out of the ordinary. It's not all bad - this has made me a huge perfectionist which has really helped with writing music and production.
The more I try to combat my anxiety the worse it gets. Ii would just like to know, is this normal ? I was fine 4-5 years ago, my girlfriend said I might have OCD but I heard they are very tidy and I'm not. Is there any way to stop thinking like this and go back to the way I was? I have a wonderful life, a loving family and girlfriend and great friends. My job's ok and to be honest I'm lucky to have a job. So why am I like this?
Response from Dr. Fawcett
Thanks for writing. It certainly sounds like you are experiencing many of the hallmarks of OCD, (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is classified as an anxiety disorder. In such cases people experience obsessive thoughts about (usually irrational) things followed by compulsive behavior. Your example of rattling the door is typical. These thoughts and behaviors can become totally consuming and, since they aren't rational, it is impossible to "talk yourself down" from the thoughts.
There is help available. I suggest you contact a mental health professional who could do an assessment. There are medications approved for OCD which usually work best when combined with a form of psychotherapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. There is relief be certain to reach out for help.
Good luck to you,
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