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Im sinking
Mar 14, 2013

Ok, I'm 49 now but I've been around and done a lot in my life. I posted in the past mostly before Dr. Bob passed on (God rest his soul). I really liked him a lot. But I'm finding as I'm aging my issues seem to be stemming from the family unit. My wife of 14 years is somewhat compassionate but horrible with money. I mean horrible..it's the Starbucks, private school for my son from my disability check, and all that jazz. We are not rich, we are dirt poor. I understand poor, I've struggled my whole life, I've been a marine, electrician and all that. But now, I'm on disability and I'm living with my floor dropping to the ground every day. I'm getting older and am getting really burned out from financial stress. So, I'm thinking I'm aging from all of this and need help. My viral load is fine and I work out and take my meds, but I'm living around smoking and people who are stressed and I'm thinking "what's the point?" How can I change the aging process of what this is doing to me? Physically I'm in good shape...my mind is a major mess though. In 2005, I almost died from meningitis and spent a month hospitalized, but now I feel like I'm an old hamster in a cage...Help me...I'm sinking....

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry to hear about your stress. You are obviously a survivor and have utilized these skills to manage your health over the years. Stress has very real physical consequences, so it is very appropriate that you express your concern.

I would suggest speaking with your wife to convey both your gratitude about her ongoing support and the stress your family's financial situation is causing. It is very helpful to have a trained counselor work with you both on communication and problem solving. Sometimes a third person can help with budgeting, alternative ideas, and, in general, a fresh perspective when there seems to be no other choices. Aging with HIV is an ongoing challenge that is now becoming quite common. Reach out and find support you are not in this alone. And based on your life story, I believe your wisdom and experience could benefit others as well.

Best wishes to you and your family,

David



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