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Married to someone with HIV

Aug 26, 2012

Over my nine year marriage, I made a commitment to stick with my HIV-positive husband through this battle. He doesn't want to get proper care and over the years, I have tested negative. But my biggest fear is the virus will increase in his system, therefore putting me at a greater risk of getting infected. We use condoms but one night the condom came off and was lodged in my walls. I was able to remove it but the semen was still there and my biggest fear is that I was infected. What should I do? This happened about 4 months ago.

Response from Dr. Fawcett

I applaud your support of your husband, but really feel that unless you both can take proper steps to ensure your protection your support is misplaced. If you haven't done so, get tested. I'm glad to hear you use condoms but, as you note, things can happen. If your husband's viral load isn't suppressed it dramatically increases his potential to infect you. He needs to get proper care. Here is a link to a resource page for serodiscordant couples.

Your support is best utilized helping him address whatever barriers are preventing him from getting proper care.

Take care of you,


HIV, sex drive and recovery
Worried after revealing my status

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