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Worried that I haven't revealed my status to my partner

May 5, 2012

About five months ago I found out I was HIV+ and haven't started with treatment. I recently got back with my previous lover who is HIV- who I haven't told that am infected with HIV! Every time we have sex I insist on using condoms but lately he doesn't want to use them anymore. The other day he took out the condom and I wasn't aware of this! I now am worried that I might have infected him and how do I tell him am HIV(+)? What should I do? Are the chances high that he might be infected?

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thanks for writing. You need to share your status with your partner. The longer you wait the more difficult (awkward hardly describes it) it is going to be, and the longer he will be at risk. I don't know your sexual practices so it's hard to estimate levels of risk, but there is certainly the possibility he has been exposed. He needs to be tested and you both need to have a serious conversation about your status. Check with your physician about what local supports exist to help facilitate the conversation (such as counseling).

Good luck,


HIV, Mirtazapine and Agranulocytosis
My partner is HIV positive and I am negative

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