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He's HIV position and I'm not

Dec 21, 2011

I am head over heels in love with a man who was diagnosed with HIV in 1990. He did develop AIDS but his viral load has been undetectable for the past 10 years. He is an LCSW and well educated, yet he is insistent upon not wearing a condom. What does that say about how he feels about me? In other ways he is overprotective of my well being, but with this he feels there is no danger and I feel hurt because I know that's not the case. Doesn't he care if I get infected?

Response from Dr. Fawcett

One of the major challenges for any serodiscordant couple is communication, both about negotiating sexual practices and feelings. TheBody has some resource pages for this important concern (here ). You may want to consult as a couple both with a physician and a counselor to help you work through these issues. You need to be comfortable with all aspects of your relationship, including negotiating sex that respects the boundaries and comfort level of both of you.

Be well,


Worried about my future
I am depressed

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