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I wonder if there is normal life for me

Dec 21, 2011

Hello doctor,

I want to thank your first of all. Second, I am a really worried. I have been positive for 8 years and always undetectable, always take my medicine, and always full of fear because I don't want to infect someone. Recently I started dating a negative man. When we have sex I have always precum and that worries me (sorry for my words) I am so hot that sometimes I rub my penis on his anus and make a little penetration. This has happened a couple of times. I react and use a condom. Is there a large risk with this? Can I infect him, because I don't want to harm him or anyone. It is so hard to live this. What can I do? What do you recommend? I appreciate your wisdom on this. Help me please, thank you very much.

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thank you for writing. Being in a serodiscordant relationship requires not only extra sexual precautions but extra effort at communication as well. Here is a link describing some of the issues faced by many serodiscordant couples. As for your specific concern - if there is penetration there is a chance that he could be exposed to the virus. Being undetectable reduces that risk, but the safest action is to put on the condom before penetration.

Take care and good luck to you both,


Please help.. can I move on?
Worried about my future

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