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Anger at physician's east Texas attitude

Oct 16, 2011

Hello. I was living in Bangkok, Thailand when I was diagnosed some six years ago. It was a stunning thing for me, but I remember the professionalism and kindness of the doctor who gave me hope and sound advice. Upon returning to east Texas, I eventually found a wonderful lady who I asked to marry me. We wanted very much to have a child together (she is HIV negative) but when I asked the physician about the possibility of that she said that I could forget about it. It would be expensive and I could not possibly "do something like that in this conservative part of the country." This was not only personally hurtful, but I listened to her, and now have so much regret. I am 42 and my wife just turned 40. Is it too late for us and if it is not, where do we go? Houston? I am back in Asia with my job now, so is Bangkok a possibility?? I appreciate any advice! I would love to have a child with my wife, but I have two beautiful twin ten year olds as step-children (boy and girl) with her...So at least we have them. THANKS

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thanks for writing. I am constantly amazed (I shouldn't be any more) at the attitude, and frankly ignorance, so frequently encountered by HIV positive persons. You are certainly not alone. Many people living with HIV, including serodiscordant couples, want to (and do) have children. Here is link to a resource page at TheBody for couples in your position. You do have options, including sperm washing. Speak with your HIV healthcare provider about the overall health of both you and your wife as well as precautions that would need to be observed. Although very low, there is some risk to your wife. The technique was developed in Europe but is now available in North America as well. I don't know about southeast Asia. Hopefully your physician will be able to give you some guidelines as to centers that provide the service as well as costs.

Good luck to you and your wife!



HIV-positive husband who won't use condoms
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