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Worried about putting myself and boyfriend at risk
Sep 26, 2011

I am posting here because I am very worried about infection and need advice. I am a gay male, I did a stupid thing and cheated on my boyfriend a couple of times, the worst being unprotected top anal about 4-5 months ago(he insists that he is tested regularly) and unprotected oral about 7 weeks ago, after which the guilt of cheating finally caught up with me and I decided not to do it again. My problem is that in a routine check up with a new physician my boyfriend got an indeterminate HIV test (I know for a fact he has never cheated). As a result I went immediately to the clinic for a rapid finger prick test which came back negative. We received his results from a test one month later test and they were also indeterminate. The doctor has ordered further testing but seemed fairly optimistic...any thoughts?

PS I have also been having troubled sleep and minor night sweats but am under the impression this may be anxiety...

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thanks for writing. There is some risk associated with being the insertive partner in unprotected anal sex, as well as with oral sex (although the risk for the latter is considerably less). For now you are doing what you can - getting regularly tested until six months have passed at which point you can safely conclude you and your boyfriend have not contracted HIV.

Given your negative results thus far I feel it's very likely your sleep disruption and night sweats are due to worry. Anxiety can create a wide variety of physical symptoms. Try some deep breathing, a warm bath, and/or relaxation exercises before going to bed - they are very effective.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend.

-David



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