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14 years old and in love
Jul 30, 2011

Hi. I just turned 14 and I am in love with a guy who is 18. I was willing to do anything for him, including sexual activities. If he told me to do a sex favor for his brother, or his best friend I would. I did this all for one boy because I didn't want to lose him. Now I'm starting to realize that he doesn't love me, or care about me nearly as much as I do him. They are going off to college soon, and they want nothing to do with me. I am mentally, and emotionality destroyed and I have no clue what to do. Help me please.

Response from Dr. Fawcett

Thanks for writing. I'm sorry that you've had this experience but am so glad that you are reaching out. As a teenager, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the strong feelings of love and attraction and let this impact what you are willing to do to please another person. There are, unfortunately, adults who can exploit those emotions. It is good that you understand that the loving feelings you have for this person are not reciprocated.

I know you could benefit by discussing this with others, both peers and adults. More and more areas have places for teens to discuss this type of issue and there are some internet-based resources as well. Please reach out to an adult that you trust - perhaps a parent, teacher, or guidance counselor. You don't mention if you are male or female. Here are a few sites that might help: two LGBT websites which list resources are Amplify Your Voice and GSA Network; the Advocates for Youth site lists resources for all adolescents.

Remember, you will get past this and you will be stronger for it, but you can't do this alone. Please reach out to someone with whom you can discuss your feelings in detail.

Good luck to you, -David



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