Problems with Sex Life
Jun 25, 2011
I'm a 27 yr old male, and I've been living with HIV for 3 years. I started taking Atripla early on before by CD4 count dropped below 400. For 1.5 years now I've had an undetectable viral load and high CD4 count.
Since I've been diagnosed with HIV I've had a very low sex drive - and this has negatively affected my relationship with people I've been dating. I can't "get off" without self-masturbation. I don't have a good sex life with my boyfriend because even if he tries oral sex or touching or intercourse, he can't get me to have an orgasm. Even worse, I sometimes have trouble keeping an erection. I've had this problem with everyone I've dated over the past few years. I've had this problem at times my whole life, but since I've been diagnosed with HIV it's all the time. It's almost like I'm uncomfortable letting someone else give me an orgasm.
Do you know if other people have faced this issue? Do you have any advice for how to make things better? Otherwise I'm a healthy, good looking 27 year old guy, and I'd hate to write off enjoying sex for the rest of my life.
Thanks for your help!
Response from Dr. Fawcett
Loss of libido can be due to a wide variety of factors, including depression, medications (including some anti-depressants), hormones, age (not 27, however!), and various beliefs that can involve shame and internalized homophobia. Medications do effect libido, although some people who take Atripla actually report an increase in sex drive. I would have your physician check your testosterone and the effects of any other medications you may be taking. Since this seems to be a long-standing issue, you may want to seek out a sex therapist who could explore any negative beliefs about sex you may have which, although often subconscious, can have a profound negative effect on desire and sexual behavior. A sex therapist could also direct you toward exercises that take the focus off erections and orgasms, and place an emphasis on the experience of erotic sensations. Many people find that addressing anxiety and concentrating on the sensations (and not performance) go a long way toward solving this problem. In short, there's no need to write off your sex life! Good luck.
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